...and then there are times...

..when words seem unavailable. And even the sound of my voice is irritating to me. Those times when I may go for days and days without speaking to a single Human. Sophie (my Dawg) may be the only one with whom I speak. There are, occasionally, moments when it seems unbearably lonely. But not often. Mostly I feel quite blessed to have the freedom to be without Human interference. Because, more often than not, when I am amid other Humans, I feel as if I am invisible. It may be because I wish to be unseen. It may also be that these other Humans are far too immersed in their own dramas that they don't see anyone at all. Only their lives. Their problems. Their crushed dreams shattered on the ground beneath their bloody feet.

A dreary and UNJoyful perspective, yes?

Do not despair. I wouldn't dream of leaving you in that place. This is, after all, about choosing Joy, is it not? Of course it is. I began the missive in this manner in order to offer the ol' yin/yang of Life. So...

Words are not always needed. Human interaction is also not a necessity for all of us. Those of us who have chosen such isolated lives have done so for reasons that needn't be discussed here. All that need be said is that for any person reading this missive, all you need remember is that your choices are your own. If you will take responsibility for those choices, you won't ever need to "explain" anything to anyone. Unless you want to. Otherwise, I say...choose what makes you feel best. Make your choices based on who you are, who you are becoming, who you know yourself to be. Whether or not you've "reached" that place of satisfaction (with your Self) is not something you need fret about. We are all becoming. That, in my experience, is precisely what Life is.

A Becoming.

Now...before I launch into a whole dissertation an that topic, let us come back 'round to the point of today's meandering...

When I am living those days where words are unavailable, I find a kind of peace that is otherwise absent when I am in full voice. Mostly it has to do with my Art. When I am in Artiste mode, I am fully and utterly immersed. I have no concept of time. Or what day it is. Or whether or not I have eaten. (Mostly, the grumblings from my belly let me know 'bout that!) Sophie is the only one who can break the trance. She may need to go outside. Or it's past time for our walk. Or she simply wants some attention. I am grateful to have her here. She keeps me from melting into my chair!

The gifts that ensue (the Silent Days) are, without question, worth every word not spoken. I end up with a pile of art that astonishes even me. I marvel at the beauty that comes from these hands...and the feelings the paintings relay. It is Magick at its very best.

I am grateful.

The Crush of Comparison

Comparisons will kill you. Faster than lightning can split a tree, comparing your life to someone else will crush your very Soul. Eat away at it until all that's left is a crusty, bitter wisp that was once YOU. Without any semblance of Hope. With nary a trace of Joy.

Comparisons will CRUSH YOU.

Social media has an enormous impact on the millions who seem not to know how to live any other way. Many people live their lives precariously through others' videos, photos, SnapChats, Tweets, etc., ad nauseum. It's as if they don't know how to actually LIVE.  Instead, they spend their waking lives with their heads bent over a SmartPhone, watching the world through that six inch screen, wishing it was their life.

It is as annoying as it is terrifying.

And with every luxury home and snazzy car and new wardrobe and snappy pair of shoes and endless stream of vacation pictures and large-spread gourmet meal, the people who are not so "blessed" cringe and wish and shrink ... and die a little more.

"Oh how I wish I could live in that house."

"Wouldn't it be wonderful to vacation like that?"

"I'll bet that car rides like a dream."

"I'd give my left arm for those boots."

"If only I had a body like that."

"I will never get to...."

Little by little, the dreams of the Have-Nots get dimmer and dimmer, until they are lost in the mists, never to be dreamt again.

CRUSHING.

I hope that as you read this, you will understand just how detrimental to your Soul these comparisons are. I hope you will forgo the envy and turn off your phone or laptop or tablet or iPad or whatever device you've got your face buried in...and DO SOMETHING that makes your Soul SING. Do something that makes you laugh or bring a smile to someone else's face of causes a critter to purr with love.

I hope you will remember that you are enough
and that you matter
and that nothing is impossible
and that whatever it is that makes your heart dance is the thing that counts the most
and that you are loved
and
your dreams are YOURS.

Leave everybody else out of it.

Comparisons will crush you.

JUST. STOP.

And So It Begins...

In light of all the "New Year" hubbub, I decided to wait a day...and skip all the usual rhetoric. Instead, I thought I'd offer up some stuff I picked up from a fantastic workshop I attended yesterday with the marvelous Robin Rice (Be Who You Are Productions). It was, without question, one of the most unique ways I've ever spent New Year's Day. So grateful, Miz Robin. Thanks for sharing!

Moving on....

Robin isn't your ordinary Human. She is a shaman who uses her gifts to help people figure out who they really are (hence the name of her biz) and she does it in such a way as to empower anyone who moseys into her path. A right marvel, she is. Anyway, you can find out more about her by visiting her site (link above). For now, let us return to the origin of this post.

For those of you who've been reading this blog for any length of time (more than a year), you know that I don't do "resolutions". They have never proven fruitful, and have only ever served to make me feel a failure by week three of any given new year. So, I decided decades ago that I'd proceed in some other fashion. Each year has been different. And each year has shown some successes and some...changes in my original thinking on the 1st of the year. All in all it has been fun to approach each New Year's Day with some new flavor. Robin provided such flavor yesterday. And here is what I came out of it with:

Acts of Beauty and Balance ~~~ These are the things that I have chosen to focus on as the year progresses (one day a time, people!) so as to expand my own evolution. I do not look for problems that need resolving; I look at gifts I'd like to enhance. Hence the title of my list. I chose Beauty and Balance in lieu of "resolutions" because it just feels better. Also, I like the poetry of it. Acts of Beauty and Balance. Nice.

Whilst we were participating in the workshop, Robin asked us to make said list and then be brutally honest about each item. (If you would like to hear/see what we did, you can find a recording as well as a neat little listing of the things we covered HERE.). This process was both enjoyable and eye-opening. By the sound of it, I wasn't the only one who felt that way. And as we worked our way through, I could feel the change in the collective energy. It was really quite powerful. And moving. And some of the time, funny. In short, it was a splendid way to begin 2014. When the workshop was over, my list of Acts was refined and ready for my complete attention. Spent the rest of the day with those notes on my desk, re-reading each time I walked by. By day's end I felt as if I had conquered some vast expanse with nary a scratch. And I slept as soundly as I have in ages.

I shan't bore you with the details of my list. It isn't really important to anyone but me. What I wanted most to share was that there are loads of ways to grow, expand, enhance your Life. If you choose "resolutions" and that happens to work for you, then I say BRAVO and carry on! If, however, just the word (resolution) makes you feel icky, I'm suggesting you reconsider who you are and what you would like to "do" in this new year. Is there a part of you that you would like to polish? Is there something that you feel is hiding just beneath the surface? Do you feel anxious or exhilarated about this new year? Because from where I sit, exhilaration beats the hell outta anxiety any day of the week (and twice on Sundays). Wouldn't it be oh-so-much-nicer to live this new year a little bit differently than all the previous ones? Wouldn't it be grand to actually BE who you are? Wouldn't you prefer to choose JOY over angst?

Yep.

Thought so.

I was gonna....

Yesterday, I was gonna write about some of the Ick that busted down the door.

But I decided NOT.

Then I was gonna write about how I carried that flippin' Ick around with me for a few hours.

But I changed my mind.

Then I remember that the name of this blog is

JOYZACHOICE

And I realized that the only way to toss that Ick back out the door was to write about all the other goodies that showed up in its wake. So I waited. And I waited some more. I had my dinner. I watched some funny TV. I went to sleep. And then....

I woke up to all kinds of goodies.

Like a card from a dear old friend who loves me right back.
And a note on my front step from a neighbor, along with a darling little plaque that says:

Have only one rule:
Be your wild, courageous, brilliant self.
No matter what.

And a peacock feather that lay on the path when Sophie and I went out for our walk.

Then there was the beautiful message I got when we got home, telling me that I was "missed, loved, treasured".
And an email from that place I've been submitting my work to (and was finally read!)

Howz that for goodies?!

But wait.

There's more!

If you order right now....

Wait. That's not it....

Really, though, there is more. There were countless other teenytinythings that floated all around from the moment I woke up right up to ...now. Things that made me realize that all I had to do was toss the Ick out the door with a loud GOOD RIDDANCE! And that no matter how ugly shit gets, there's always a way to wash it off. And that there are far more good things than not. Even when somethin' Icky comes kickin' in the door. It's not nearly as hard to ditch as you think. And if you're dead set on living the Joy you came here to live, you'll do just what that pretty little plaque says:

Have only one rule:
Be your wild, courageous, brilliant self.
No matter what.

So there.

It's All Relative

Dogs have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. They were there when I was growing up and they were an absolute essential when I moved out on my own. As far as I can recall, there was never more than a three or four month stretch when I didn't have a dog in my home. Those times (without) were mostly about my own healing time when one or the other left the planet for that place on the other side of the Bridge. All I'm saying is, I've almost always had a dog. Don't like life without 'em. They just bring too much Joy to deny myself, ya know? Anywayz.....

Lately there've been some outside influences that have made me more aware of just how prejudiced some of us can be when it comes to the size of the dog. What I mean is, there are folks who've always had "big" dogs and don't get the whole "small dog" thing. I know about this particular prejudice. Used to be one of 'em.

That is, until I met Bruzer.

A short aside: for those of you who have been here before, you know who he is. For those of you who haven't, you might like to step back and have a look. The most recent posting about Bruzer was in April. He's the curly little guy with eyes brighter than the moon.

When I was first introduced to the BruzerBoy, I was quite put off. I'd never had a "small" dog and had never understood why anyone would. To me they were mostly just a lot of noise without the benefit of bad-ass. What good was a dog if it couldn't protect me? What good was the dog if it was just going to make a bunch of noise, jump on everyone who walked through the door, eat, poop, and never "earn" its keep? Such was the mentality of this "dog lover".

GEEZ.

But time and evolution have their way of teaching and I am no exception (praise the gods!). The kind, more evolved woman who called me to meet him knew that we were meant to be. Throughout our very short time together, that Critter taught me more about life, and myself, and Joy than any other Critter I've ever known. Still, nearly six months after his passing, I cannot even begin to tell you how much his presence (and absence) have affected my life. And as each day passes I am more convinced that he remains; he is here, with us (that "us" would be myself and the "new" critter, whose name is Sophie) and guides me to more understanding, more patience, less judgment, less prejudice....simply put: MORE of the ME I am meant to be.

I pose this to you now because I believe there is a very important thing to learn by letting go of our preconceived notions about what is "big", what is "small", what is "useful". When we maintain these ideas of what any creature may or may not provide based on its size or gender or breeding, we lose the ability to see who they really are. And here's the kicker. If we do this with CRITTERS, do you suppose we do NOT do this with other Beings? Do you think that our biases are relegated to one species only? Do you really think that if you think a small dog is useless, that your opinions thereafter are limited to only that small dog? Can you see where there may be perceptions that are keeping you and those around you from the Joy of Who You Really Are?

Just wondering.

the rambling ego

According to Forbes, there are nearly ONE BILLION BLOGS on the internet (right now!). That's a whole lotta blogs. How one blog gets to the top of such a heap is a mystery to me. But I got to thinking about this today whilst in the shower, singin' a tune and lathering my very short, curly hair. I was fully engaged in the moment, happy to have hot, running water and Bruzer lying right outside the bathtub playing sentry. Not that I need a sentry; but it sure is fun to sweep open the shower curtain and see him laying there, nubbie a -waggin', all happy to see me. He's just so darned cute. {see?}

Anyway...there I was, singin' in the shower when all of a sudden this thought pops into my head:

"GEEZLOUIZE! HOW IN THE WORLD DO I GET MY STUFF OUT THERE?"

I stopped lathering {and singing!} and let the thought run. As is usually the case, it wasn't long before another came along. Next thought was, "who cares?" 

It occurred to me that far too often we (I'm using the word "we" as a general term. Not anyone specific OR that it necessarily applies to you. Just sayin'...} do things just for the fun of it only to find ourselves all tangled up in the numbers.

As if more readers might somehow make life better.

As if being on the top of the heap would somehow alter life at all. As if....

The next thing ya know, I'm out of the shower, still pondering all this stuff, and gigglin' at myself for letting my ego ruin the moment. Well, almost. The moment wasn't really ruined; just the song I was singin'. Because those thoughts clamoring around in my brain had distracted me from my song. CRAP! {and a little giggle too}

As I toweled off and got dressed, the thoughts led me 'round to the reasons why I write this blog. It led me back to the beginning when all I really wanted was to lend some support to my own self. I hadn't begun this for anyone else. It was a means for me to take time, every day, to fortify my convictions of the choices I have. It was, at first, a kind of journal that I thought might lend some consistency to my otherwise inconsistent habits. I simply wanted to 'force' myself to write every single day.

Somewhere along the way, people started reading. And sending me messages. And getting involved in what I was writing. The more this happened, the more I began to pay more attention to them than my original intent. Pretty soon, I was checking my 'stats' every hour, just to see if there were 'more'. Whenever the numbers dropped, I'd get kind of bummed. How come they're not reading? How come there aren't more notes? Why didn't that post get any attention?

For a short while this became the focus of my writing. But only for a short while. Now, when I go back and look at the beginning...and the middle...and the now...I can see where I was writing for 'numbers' and where I was simply revealing truths that were there to lead me onward. So today, when all that stuff popped up I was able to recognize what it was in just a few short minutes. By the time I'd gotten dressed, I saw Miss Ego standing there, laughing at me in the mirror.

HA! GOTCHA! 

I must say, it did surprise me a bit. But then, contrary to popular belief, I am not ego-less. Yet. Still workin' on that. But (there it is: the inevitable 'but') I can also say that moments like that are a treasure too. Because without them, I'd not be able to readjust my focus and/or intention. To be sure, I love when what I offer helps others. It makes me very happy to hear the commentary or get the emails about how much this or that meant to someone. Still, it is not my primary 'goal'. I'm not that selfless. {truth can be ugly sometimes, eh?} 

It just so happens that I believe that the very best way to spread the joy is to live it. The best way to help others is to help one's self. That if you are true to who you are, and leave the ego crap behind, more will benefit from your truths. I tried doing it the other way 'round. It didn't work. I found myself "trying" to write, rather than just being the conduit for that splendid Source that IS. It seems quite clear to me that the numbers are nothing more than fuel for an ego I'd prefer not to feed. Ego never got me anywhere. Truth and Trust have. I prefer the latter (2) to the former. 

Besides...the moment I let go those egotistical demands, all kinds of goodness comes...and goes right back out to all the lovely souls who may have found their way here. Kind of a win-win, wouldn't ya say?

Do nothing.

Sometimes the very best thing you can do is nothing. Even if the sun is shining and the air is warm. Even if you're happy as a piglet in mud. Even if your life is rich and full and joyous. Sometimes the very best thing you can do is nothing.

And on that note...I'm off to do just that.

Have yo'self a fun and fabliss day!