There Is No Try

One of my very favorite movie quotes is that of Yoda when young Luke was attempting to raise his soon-to-be-swallowed-by-the-swamp ship. Yoda was doing his Yoda best to get the boy to focus. And at some point, the young Skywalker said, "I'M TRYING!". To which wise Yoda replied, "Try, not. Do or do not. There is no try."

Never forgot that. Even though I wasn't a huge fan (I only saw the first two movies), I always loved that darlingYoda. He was, to me, the quintessential Yogi. (Gee. Ya think that's what George was thinking all along?) To me, Yoda was the absolute best of all of us. And, with or without his sword, he yielded a mighty power that, to this not-so-young-lass, still affects. I often hear his voice when I'm in a tight spot. It's a funny voice to hear, but there you have it.

What struck me most about that particular quote was that, like everything else Yoda said, its simplicity was indisputable. How can you argue with that kind of logic? I  mean, either you are going to do something or not. There really isn't any in between. You're either doing a thing or not doing it. You may be in the midst of that doing. You may be half way there. You may be struggling with it. Or not. But no matter what, you are either doing it or not. Just because you aren't finished doesn't mean you aren't doing it. See what I'm getting at here?

So then...what's all this about "trying" anyway?

Well, it occurred to me recently that for all the insanity that has been my Life for the past six years, the one thing that never changed was my unyielding determination regarding the end result. That is to say, I'd gotten both a diagnosis and a prognosis. Neither of which I accepted. I refused to believe what "they" said it was or how I would "end up" (in a wheelchair!) None of it made any sense to me. Nor did it feel right when I thought about it. Somewhere inside me I just knew that there was something off. At first I fought. Hard. Then I realized that I could negotiate with my own beliefs until I found a balance between what "they" were saying I should do and what I thought was right for me. Little by little I found that course corrections were going to be a part of this whole adventure. Rather than saying, "Well, I'm going to try to do this or that...", I just took each segment of the journey as it came. I wasn't trying, I was doing. I didn't realize when it all began that it would take me all the places it has. Nor did I realize that it would affect so much of who I am. It took a long while to see that the whole of the journey would be just that: a Journey. So rather than drive myself off the bridge, I just toodled along until I got the hang of it. Kinda like when you're learning how to ride a bike. Sure, you're going to crash every now and then. But before too long, you're cruising along as if you'd been riding your whole life. It's not about trying, it's about doing. Even if you're doing it badly.

Now, it may seem that there is a bit of ambiguity here (regarding the actual matter at hand) but I do this purposely. Because, as with most things, it is not about the subject matter, but rather about the attitude one has while experiencing whatever it is that one is facing. Whether you are facing a dis-ease or a financial challenge or a broken heart or the loss of a loved one or...any number of icky things we all face during our lifetimes. No matter. What matters, from onset to end, is that we realize we have choices...and we make them according to what feels best. Choosing to be terrified is your absolute option. As is laughing in the face of it. Or hiding 'neath the covers. Or drinking yourself into a stupor so as to avoid it altogether. We all have choices to make each and every day. It isn't about trying, it's about choosing. Choosing a Joyful path is one way to make things a bit less terrifying and a lot more fun. 'Course, that's a choice too. Either way, there is no try. Do or do not. 

Your choice.

It's All Relative

Dogs have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. They were there when I was growing up and they were an absolute essential when I moved out on my own. As far as I can recall, there was never more than a three or four month stretch when I didn't have a dog in my home. Those times (without) were mostly about my own healing time when one or the other left the planet for that place on the other side of the Bridge. All I'm saying is, I've almost always had a dog. Don't like life without 'em. They just bring too much Joy to deny myself, ya know? Anywayz.....

Lately there've been some outside influences that have made me more aware of just how prejudiced some of us can be when it comes to the size of the dog. What I mean is, there are folks who've always had "big" dogs and don't get the whole "small dog" thing. I know about this particular prejudice. Used to be one of 'em.

That is, until I met Bruzer.

A short aside: for those of you who have been here before, you know who he is. For those of you who haven't, you might like to step back and have a look. The most recent posting about Bruzer was in April. He's the curly little guy with eyes brighter than the moon.

When I was first introduced to the BruzerBoy, I was quite put off. I'd never had a "small" dog and had never understood why anyone would. To me they were mostly just a lot of noise without the benefit of bad-ass. What good was a dog if it couldn't protect me? What good was the dog if it was just going to make a bunch of noise, jump on everyone who walked through the door, eat, poop, and never "earn" its keep? Such was the mentality of this "dog lover".

GEEZ.

But time and evolution have their way of teaching and I am no exception (praise the gods!). The kind, more evolved woman who called me to meet him knew that we were meant to be. Throughout our very short time together, that Critter taught me more about life, and myself, and Joy than any other Critter I've ever known. Still, nearly six months after his passing, I cannot even begin to tell you how much his presence (and absence) have affected my life. And as each day passes I am more convinced that he remains; he is here, with us (that "us" would be myself and the "new" critter, whose name is Sophie) and guides me to more understanding, more patience, less judgment, less prejudice....simply put: MORE of the ME I am meant to be.

I pose this to you now because I believe there is a very important thing to learn by letting go of our preconceived notions about what is "big", what is "small", what is "useful". When we maintain these ideas of what any creature may or may not provide based on its size or gender or breeding, we lose the ability to see who they really are. And here's the kicker. If we do this with CRITTERS, do you suppose we do NOT do this with other Beings? Do you think that our biases are relegated to one species only? Do you really think that if you think a small dog is useless, that your opinions thereafter are limited to only that small dog? Can you see where there may be perceptions that are keeping you and those around you from the Joy of Who You Really Are?

Just wondering.

a word on courage

{to read the comic, click on the pic. It'll open into a larger view.)


It keeps coming up. From all around me. People keep 'telling' me about my courage. About how 'brave' I am. Personally, I don't really look at it that way. To me, it's merely a matter of choosing between love and fear. Or rather, taking the fear and turning it into love. A sort of transmutation.

Truth is, most of us do the same thing. We choose. Sadly, all too often we choose fear. You can balk all you want. But just take a moment and think about it. Those icky feelings in your gut. The stress that seems to be ever-present. The worry when 'something' happens that puts you in doubt.

All that?

Fear.

I'm not saying it's an 'easy' thing to do. But it's pretty clear that we have the choice. When we face our fears and see them for what they are, we can transmute them into love. They're there to help us. Not paralyze us.

(my personal fave:)
False
Evidence
Appearing
Real

Anyway...I have this quote on my wall that I took from one of my favorite books (Another Roadside Attraction, by Tom Robbins). I read that quote every day to remind myself that there is NOTHING I cannot face and, more importantly, turn to my advantage. All fears are learned. Some came from a long, long time ago. Others more recently. Either way, it became quite apparent to me that in order for me to transmute said fears (into love) I must see them as nothing more than learned beliefs that I can change. Since they are learned behaviours, it would seem they can also be unlearned. And so, little by little, one moment at a time, I do. I look them square in the 'eye' and ask, "what do you want?". Answers always come. ALWAYS.

So then...that quote:

"You risked your life, but what else have you ever risked? Have you ever risked disapproval? Have you ever risked a belief? There is nothing particularly courageous about risking one's life. So you lose it. You go to your hero's heaven and everything is milk and honey til the end of time, right? You get your reward and suffer no earthly consequences. That's not courage.

Real courage is risking something you have to keep on living with.
Real courage is risking something that might force you to rethink your thoughts.
And suffer change.
And stretch consciousness.
REAL courage is risking one's cliches."

Carry on, you splendid Being of Love!
You DO have the courage...to live your life exactly as you wish.
What's YOUR choice?