One of my very favorite movie quotes is that of Yoda when young Luke was attempting to raise his soon-to-be-swallowed-by-the-swamp ship. Yoda was doing his Yoda best to get the boy to focus. And at some point, the young Skywalker said, "I'M TRYING!". To which wise Yoda replied, "Try, not. Do or do not. There is no try."
Never forgot that. Even though I wasn't a huge fan (I only saw the first two movies), I always loved that darlingYoda. He was, to me, the quintessential Yogi. (Gee. Ya think that's what George was thinking all along?) To me, Yoda was the absolute best of all of us. And, with or without his sword, he yielded a mighty power that, to this not-so-young-lass, still affects. I often hear his voice when I'm in a tight spot. It's a funny voice to hear, but there you have it.
What struck me most about that particular quote was that, like everything else Yoda said, its simplicity was indisputable. How can you argue with that kind of logic? I mean, either you are going to do something or not. There really isn't any in between. You're either doing a thing or not doing it. You may be in the midst of that doing. You may be half way there. You may be struggling with it. Or not. But no matter what, you are either doing it or not. Just because you aren't finished doesn't mean you aren't doing it. See what I'm getting at here?
So then...what's all this about "trying" anyway?
Well, it occurred to me recently that for all the insanity that has been my Life for the past six years, the one thing that never changed was my unyielding determination regarding the end result. That is to say, I'd gotten both a diagnosis and a prognosis. Neither of which I accepted. I refused to believe what "they" said it was or how I would "end up" (in a wheelchair!) None of it made any sense to me. Nor did it feel right when I thought about it. Somewhere inside me I just knew that there was something off. At first I fought. Hard. Then I realized that I could negotiate with my own beliefs until I found a balance between what "they" were saying I should do and what I thought was right for me. Little by little I found that course corrections were going to be a part of this whole adventure. Rather than saying, "Well, I'm going to try to do this or that...", I just took each segment of the journey as it came. I wasn't trying, I was doing. I didn't realize when it all began that it would take me all the places it has. Nor did I realize that it would affect so much of who I am. It took a long while to see that the whole of the journey would be just that: a Journey. So rather than drive myself off the bridge, I just toodled along until I got the hang of it. Kinda like when you're learning how to ride a bike. Sure, you're going to crash every now and then. But before too long, you're cruising along as if you'd been riding your whole life. It's not about trying, it's about doing. Even if you're doing it badly.
Now, it may seem that there is a bit of ambiguity here (regarding the actual matter at hand) but I do this purposely. Because, as with most things, it is not about the subject matter, but rather about the attitude one has while experiencing whatever it is that one is facing. Whether you are facing a dis-ease or a financial challenge or a broken heart or the loss of a loved one or...any number of icky things we all face during our lifetimes. No matter. What matters, from onset to end, is that we realize we have choices...and we make them according to what feels best. Choosing to be terrified is your absolute option. As is laughing in the face of it. Or hiding 'neath the covers. Or drinking yourself into a stupor so as to avoid it altogether. We all have choices to make each and every day. It isn't about trying, it's about choosing. Choosing a Joyful path is one way to make things a bit less terrifying and a lot more fun. 'Course, that's a choice too. Either way, there is no try. Do or do not.