Highly Sensitive Beings Part II

Today is the second day of the new year. By all accounts, it would seem that there are many who have boarded the Optimism Train, doing what they do each time a new year rolls 'round. Resolutions are made. Hopes are renewed. Energies rise. Everyone telling everyone else..

"YOU CAN DO IT!"

"THIS is YOUR year!"

"YES YOU CAN!"

All lovely and encouraging and sweet. Also naive and even a little condescending. Not because you can't. Simply because the people posting or texting or speaking these encouragements don't believe you can any more than you do. It's a clear cut case of RAH, RAH, SISSKOOOMBAH from all the mamas in the stands of a blow-out game.

Sound pessimistic?

I suppose, at this point, you might think so. It may even sound a bit cynical. But since this is a space where choosing Joy is the entire reason for my being here, and since I am fully committed to that mission, I would ask you to have a little trust here. I have promised to offer thoughts/ideas/meanderings on the matter of Joy. I shan't recant on that promise.

To that end, I want to offer a more honest bit of encouragement so that, on day nineteen (or thereabouts) of your New Year's Resolutions, when your excuses begin to outweigh your resolve, you will, perhaps, hear this little voice and stick to your guns. Because even though I don't know you personally, I do know that it is possible to become more YOU. It's part of the reason why choosing Joy is so important to me. In my experience, the more you choose Joy and deny suffering, the more authentically you can (and will!) live the Life you came here to live.

Back in September of last year, I wrote a bit about Highly Sensitive Beings.  The piece was intended to encourage those who bear what is often an overwhelming onus. HSBs are aware of the subtle shifts in energy, whether it is planet-wide or in the neighbors down the street. A curse and a gift rolled into one giant ball of nerve endings. The beginning of a new year, along with all these resolutions and promises and individual resolve can be even more overwhelming than the ordinary goings-on for HSBs. There is so much focus by the "general population" that it can feel like rather than having a so-called new beginning, it is, instead, the not-so-yummy icing on an already over-iced cake.

NOT fun.

{Stay with me! I promise I won't let you down!}

And so...

The whole reason for a "Part II" here is to remind all you HSBs  that you don't have to bear that weight. It's not your job to encourage, coddle, or otherwise fake your way through the onslaught of New Year's Resolutions your friends and family and coworkers are tossing around like glittery confetti on New Year's Eve.

Let me say that again:

IT IS NOT YOUR JOB.

Your job is to moderate the energies you choose to share with those who matter to you. Especially your own beautiful Self. Your job is to maintain some semblance of balance while the rest of the world goes on a free-for-all with their short-lived optimism and convictions and mostly foolish promises that may or may not be kept. Your job is to keep that Highly Sensitive Heart wrapped in the arms of Love so that you, too, can continue on whatever journey you have chosen to take, no matter how important it may seem to anyone else.

I said it before and I'll say it again:

The world NEEDS you.

The world is a better place for having you in it.

You are a rare and beautiful Flower whose beauty can heal and nourish and scatter Joy like no other.

And so...

It is utterly and absolutely essential that you keep your Highly Sensitive Being-ness well and hale and

FULL OF JOY.

Here's to MORE ... of whatever you choose.

{PHEW!}

Here, on this the twenty-seventh day of the year, as we wind down to yet another year ending, I can't help but feel...relieved. Oh, how happy I shall be when this horrid year is over. Me thinks it has been tough for many on our Planet. Not just here in the United States, but all 'round the world. There have been so many dreadful happenings. AND rather than go through that "list", let us simply say,

"THANK THE GODS IT'S OVER!" and move on to the business of BETTER.

Many of you make your lists of New Year's Resolutions, with, I am sure, great hope of accomplishing those things. For those of you who've been here for any length of time, you know I am not one who does ("resolutions"). I've never found them to be anything more than lies I told myself. For every one I didn't accomplish, I always felt badly for my lack of willpower or consistency or determination.

UNTIL...

I realized that I'm just not a person who fares well under such rigid rules. I am, instead, the kind who envisions whatever it is I would like to modify/add/remove from my world. One step at a time. One day at a time. Works for me. Without all the guilt!

To that end, I thought it might be a good time to pose a few seeds for your new year too.

WHAT IF...

You were to focus on what makes you happy and leave misery for those who seem to enjoy it.

You were to begin each and every day with a simple prayer of gratitude for all the many JOYS that are your world.

You were just not so damned hard on yourself. YOU are a GIFT. Treat yourSELF as one.

WHAT IF...

You simply apply LOVE to all your days.

How grand a year it will be then, yes?

Wishing each of you a splendid, joyful, merry, loving, satisfying, creative, MARVELOUS

NEW YEAR!

A Bucket List (Instead)

Thought it might be fun to revisit the whole "New Year's Resolutions" thang for a minute. Just so that you'd have another option. Those of you who've been here a while know that I don't do NYRs. For those who are new to these Meanderings, I'll give you a brief overview:

In my estimation, NYRs don't usually work. Most folks last about a month (tops!) and then everything goes back to the way it was. Whether they're trying to lose weight, stop smoking, go to the gym, or simply break an annoying habit, most folks forget about the brain wiring part. It takes a minimum of 21 days to form a habit. That's not counting the chemistry part of things. Also, Merriam Webster defines the word as "the act of finding an answer or solution to a conflict, problem, etc." From where I sit, the word really doesn't suit. Not if you're wanting to make stuff better. It's the attitude that bothers me.

Einstein said that we cannot find solutions to problems with the same mind that created them. In my experience, he's right on the money. If you want to "solve" something, you've got to approach the problem from a different angle. So to speak.

That being the case (that is, if you're buying Einstein's theory. And I haven't lost you ...), what if, rather than making a list of NYRs, you made a Bucket List instead.

Whole different attitude.

Whole different feeling.

A Bucket List is generally thought of as a list of things you'd like to do before you leave the planet. Stuff you've always said you're going to do, but haven't. Some folks think a Bucket List is a bit on the morbid side, since they're talking about the whole "before I die" thang. Again, it's all in the attitude. We're not focusing on the dying part. We're focusing on the "fun stuff I want to do" part.

Still with me?

Okay.

So...a Bucket List for the year 2015. We'll put a time limit on this one. As in, "between now and December 31st, in the year two thousand fifteen, I will...."

And then you write down all the fun stuff you want to do this year.

{Aside #1: Examples:

• take a pottery class
• learn another language
• take a class at a local or online University in a subject I know nothing about
• hike through a Rain Forest 
• learn how to draw a horse
• make up a children's story, complete with cartoon-ish characters

end of Aside.}

Here's the thing about Bucket Lists versus Resolutions: one is a list of things we want to do. The other is a list of things that are, most likely, dreaded. AND...when we focus on the fun stuff, there are physical and psychological by-products. Our bodies actually secrete different chemicals (can you say "endorphin"?) when we're having fun; as opposed to the ones secreted in a state of dread, angst, anger, fear, etc. With the secretion of the former (endorphins, that is), our bodies will quite naturally respond with a whole host of "positive" changes.

Fun fact: happy people are much more likely to lose excess weight than depressed people. No kidding.

{Aside #2: that is, if they move a little more and eat a little less.}

The point is, by doing the fun stuff more and the dreaded stuff less, we end up being more productive on all counts. Fun = productivity. Just ask the folks at Google.

{Aside #3: if you've never seen the Google complex, do go have a look around. Click HERE}

Another terrific by-product: we're focused on those things that bring us JOY, which, in turn, leads to gratitude. Which leads to more of what we want and less of what we don't. Another fun fact.

To summarize: make a Bucket List. Read it every morning. Make arrangements/plans/phone calls/whatever it takes, to enable yourself to start checking things off that Fun List. By New Year's Eve (of this year), you'll not only feel better about your next trip 'round the Sun, you'll probably be in much better "shape", all the way around.

If you don't give it a go, you'll never know.

{Final Aside: Always choose Joy over Angst. ALWAYS.}

And So It Begins...

In light of all the "New Year" hubbub, I decided to wait a day...and skip all the usual rhetoric. Instead, I thought I'd offer up some stuff I picked up from a fantastic workshop I attended yesterday with the marvelous Robin Rice (Be Who You Are Productions). It was, without question, one of the most unique ways I've ever spent New Year's Day. So grateful, Miz Robin. Thanks for sharing!

Moving on....

Robin isn't your ordinary Human. She is a shaman who uses her gifts to help people figure out who they really are (hence the name of her biz) and she does it in such a way as to empower anyone who moseys into her path. A right marvel, she is. Anyway, you can find out more about her by visiting her site (link above). For now, let us return to the origin of this post.

For those of you who've been reading this blog for any length of time (more than a year), you know that I don't do "resolutions". They have never proven fruitful, and have only ever served to make me feel a failure by week three of any given new year. So, I decided decades ago that I'd proceed in some other fashion. Each year has been different. And each year has shown some successes and some...changes in my original thinking on the 1st of the year. All in all it has been fun to approach each New Year's Day with some new flavor. Robin provided such flavor yesterday. And here is what I came out of it with:

Acts of Beauty and Balance ~~~ These are the things that I have chosen to focus on as the year progresses (one day a time, people!) so as to expand my own evolution. I do not look for problems that need resolving; I look at gifts I'd like to enhance. Hence the title of my list. I chose Beauty and Balance in lieu of "resolutions" because it just feels better. Also, I like the poetry of it. Acts of Beauty and Balance. Nice.

Whilst we were participating in the workshop, Robin asked us to make said list and then be brutally honest about each item. (If you would like to hear/see what we did, you can find a recording as well as a neat little listing of the things we covered HERE.). This process was both enjoyable and eye-opening. By the sound of it, I wasn't the only one who felt that way. And as we worked our way through, I could feel the change in the collective energy. It was really quite powerful. And moving. And some of the time, funny. In short, it was a splendid way to begin 2014. When the workshop was over, my list of Acts was refined and ready for my complete attention. Spent the rest of the day with those notes on my desk, re-reading each time I walked by. By day's end I felt as if I had conquered some vast expanse with nary a scratch. And I slept as soundly as I have in ages.

I shan't bore you with the details of my list. It isn't really important to anyone but me. What I wanted most to share was that there are loads of ways to grow, expand, enhance your Life. If you choose "resolutions" and that happens to work for you, then I say BRAVO and carry on! If, however, just the word (resolution) makes you feel icky, I'm suggesting you reconsider who you are and what you would like to "do" in this new year. Is there a part of you that you would like to polish? Is there something that you feel is hiding just beneath the surface? Do you feel anxious or exhilarated about this new year? Because from where I sit, exhilaration beats the hell outta anxiety any day of the week (and twice on Sundays). Wouldn't it be oh-so-much-nicer to live this new year a little bit differently than all the previous ones? Wouldn't it be grand to actually BE who you are? Wouldn't you prefer to choose JOY over angst?

Yep.

Thought so.