Thursday, June 1, 2017

...and then there are times...

..when words seem unavailable. And even the sound of my voice is irritating to me. Those times when I may go for days and days without speaking to a single Human. Sophie (my Dawg) may be the only one with whom I speak. There are, occasionally, moments when it seems unbearably lonely. But not often. Mostly I feel quite blessed to have the freedom to be without Human interference. Because, more often than not, when I am amid other Humans, I feel as if I am invisible. It may be because I wish to be unseen. It may also be that these other Humans are far too immersed in their own dramas that they don't see anyone at all. Only their lives. Their problems. Their crushed dreams shattered on the ground beneath their bloody feet.

A dreary and UNJoyful perspective, yes?

Do not despair. I wouldn't dream of leaving you in that place. This is, after all, about choosing Joy, is it not? Of course it is. I began the missive in this manner in order to offer the ol' yin/yang of Life. So...

Words are not always needed. Human interaction is also not a necessity for all of us. Those of us who have chosen such isolated lives have done so for reasons that needn't be discussed here. All that need be said is that for any person reading this missive, all you need remember is that your choices are your own. If you will take responsibility for those choices, you won't ever need to "explain" anything to anyone. Unless you want to. Otherwise, I say...choose what makes you feel best. Make your choices based on who you are, who you are becoming, who you know yourself to be. Whether or not you've "reached" that place of satisfaction (with your Self) is not something you need fret about. We are all becoming. That, in my experience, is precisely what Life is.

A Becoming.

Now...before I launch into a whole dissertation an that topic, let us come back 'round to the point of today's meandering...

When I am living those days where words are unavailable, I find a kind of peace that is otherwise absent when I am in full voice. Mostly it has to do with my Art. When I am in Artiste mode, I am fully and utterly immersed. I have no concept of time. Or what day it is. Or whether or not I have eaten. (Mostly, the grumblings from my belly let me know 'bout that!) Sophie is the only one who can break the trance. She may need to go outside. Or it's past time for our walk. Or she simply wants some attention. I am grateful to have her here. She keeps me from melting into my chair!

The gifts that ensue (the Silent Days) are, without question, worth every word not spoken. I end up with a pile of art that astonishes even me. I marvel at the beauty that comes from these hands...and the feelings the paintings relay. It is Magick at its very best.

I am grateful.

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