Forever? No thanks.

When all is said and done, the whole death thing is as illusory as life. Consider that we start as a smear of fluid. Really. That's it. A little egg and a little sperm hook up inside the warm, wet womb and before you know it, a baby begins to form. From fluid. The miracle of this biological phenomenon is not being undermined here. Personally, I think it's utterly astonishing. But the fact remains that human life begins as a smear of fluid. The moment that human comes forth into the world, it begins its journey back round the circle...life, death, life, death. There can be no life without the death part. Just how it goes. So why do we make such a big deal about it? What is it about dying that terrifies us so?

Maybe we just haven't yet evolved enough to realize that there is no death. Not really. I mean...how could there be? Are we not Energy in the form of flesh? Are we not ENERGY? Even if you know nothing about physics, you must know that energy cannot be destroyed. Transformed, yes. Destroyed, no. Energy just cannot be killed. So...again...why do we fear this thing we call death?

In the course of the many teachings I have explored, I came upon a certain group of teachers who are quite fond of making fun of death. They use the word “croak” instead. They tease and poke and make light of what they call “your death experience”. Because they know that there is no such thing. They know that Source Energy is Source Energy and it cannot die. We are extensions of that Energy. So then...we cannot die. We leave these mostly-water vessels and move back into that Whole, but we do not die. Hard to fathom?

Maybe.

But when news arrives that someone is “dying”, there are only two paths from which to choose (near as I can tell anyway). Either to dread the process and pray on calloused knees to a god who neither hears nor answers (why is it that people only pray when the shit hits the fan?) OR we can trust this process of Life and revel in the moments we have. Ever notice how when folks have those near-death experiences they live ever more fully? Ever notice how it is precisely the brush with “death” that brings the Life force flowing like a raging river?

Me too.

I suppose the most challenging part of all this is having to deal with all the others who do not hold such beliefs. It is challenging because they want to draw you into their drama; they want to see you as miserably fearful as they are. And when you do not join in the dance, they get all pissed off. What do you mean there is no death? She's dying for Pete's sake!

Yea. Yea. I know.

It's hard. All the way round. To be sure, the “dying” one will be sorely missed. It's just not the same when they're not there to hold or hug or hang out with. I am quite familiar with this transition. But I also know that none of those who have changed form have left me. They are not gone. They have not “passed away” (that one really cracks me up. Passed away to ...where?). I guess you could say that all this chatter is a bit irreverent. No apologies shall be offered. I have my beliefs just as you have yours. I am in no way attempting to change your way of thinking. I'm simply offering a less-than-usual perspective so that maybe when that moment comes and you get some kind of deathly news you might not be so terrified. After all..do you really think you're gonna be in that body forever?

I've heard forever is a mighty long time.

I don't know about you, but I don't fancy living in this bag of water forever. For now, it's a pretty terrific experience. But forever???

No thanks.

In Honor of MerryMe

The name of this blog is JoyZAChoice. You probably already know that, but in case you forgot...I thought I'd remind you before I continue with this missive.

I remind you so that you will keep it in your heart as you read further. Today's little 'message' is being written specifically for my friend, MerryMe. She is about to embark on a brand new journey. And it may just be that she hasn't yet gotten her sea-legs. So... I just wanted to remind you that this blog is all about choosing Joy. For some, the matter of death is not so much a joyful thing. Small wonder, considering what we have been taught about the whole process.

I'll grant you...when someone leaves us it is not usually cause for celebration. We want them near us. We want to talk with them and laugh with them and hold them and touch them. We want their physical presence, not some LaLaLand version of their presence. I get it. I, too, have had my moments of sadness when someone I love has moved on. I don't much like their absence. BUT....

There are many traditions that celebrate death. They hold the belief that now their loved one(s) are at peace. They no longer feel pain or angst or any less-than feelings. They have returned to their Source, whatever that may mean to them. In short, it is a happy occasion. One to celebrate with laughter and the telling of stories and the sharing of food and drink. Break out the band. Break out the wine. Break out the balloons. Time to party!

I say this now because I wish to hold true to the purpose of this blog. AND because I saw something on MerryMe's blog that got my shorts in a twist. Someone wrote a comment telling her to "make time to grieve". And I thought, "WOW! REALLY? You're encouraging her to be sad???" I'm certain the person was lending support and love. But I question the stubborn consistency of such traditions.

Why must we mourn?
Why must we grieve?
Why must we 'make time' to feel such sadness?

I'm not trying to undermine or diminish anyone's feelings here. I'm simply saying that there is another way to meet death. And it doesn't have to be all tears and aching. It can be a celebration. Because, from my experience with such things, it is not the person who has passed we grieve for.

It is for ourselves.

We miss the person we are when they're around. We want the feelings they evoked. We want the surging of love they inspired. It is all about what WE won't be having now that they're gone. Once seen from this perspective, it pretty much negates the 'need to grieve'. It gives us another window from which to view this ongoing cycle of life. And it sure beats the hell outta feeling like crap for weeks or months or years on end.

Maybe I've just experienced so much 'death' that I have grown a kind of armor. Or maybe, just maybe, I'm finally remembering that death isn't anything we need fear. Death is a beautiful part of the process of Life. Ya just can't have one without the other. Period. So why fear it? Why mourn the passing of a life? Why not carry all those wonderful moments in our hearts, and smile that we were graced to have them?

It is my greatest wish that my friend walk through this next 'part' with grace and joy. I am not here to tell ya'll how to deal with the passing of a loved one. I'm simply offering yet another choice. Because that, my friends, is what this Life is all about.

I pray, MerryMe...that you will choose JOY.

P.S. And if you DO....you can forgo all the guilt crap too. I'm quite certain that there is no "guilt" on the Other Side!

vascillation ~

there's nothing like a little perspective to get you off your butt, ya know? 'specially when you think you're having a less than stellar day...and then, you hear someone else talk about theirs. yep. makes ya really aware of what you have...and you can see it with grateful eyes. good stuff.

it's not always easy. i know. sometimes, regardless of how hard i try, there's that icky black cloud following me around, threatening to drop hailstones on my head. big hailstones...like the kind that'll dent your car. scary stuff. but the thing is, when i remember that the cloud is there cuz i formed it, i can unform it just as quickly. if i want to, that is. back to the whole 'turn the other way' thang. perspective. perspective. perspective.

yesterday, i had this feeling, all day long, that my friend was not having a very good day. just a feeling in my gut. so, after a while, i called to see how she was doing. the moment i heard her voice, i knew my instincts were right on. (as usual). i also knew that she was trying real hard to NOT tell her 'sad story'...cuz we practice that sorta thing all the time. but in the end, she did...and i was so glad for it. cuz, by the time we hung up, she was feeling better and so was i. funny how that works. more and more i see that one of the best things to do when my day is kinda icky is to call someone else and offer up some sunshine for their day. ya know, it works every time. listening to someone else's stuff takes your mind off your own stuff and pretty soon you're both whoopin' it up and laughing at how silly you're (both) being. that ick? well, it's just an illusion anyway. just like the black cloud.

it's the moments in between...the vascillation...that makes ya crazy if you let it. sheeesh! it's not like we don't have the 'tools' to change our perspectives, or our attitudes, or our moods in general. cuz we do! all of us do. question is, how often do we use them when we need them most? cuz the way i figure it, it's pretty easy to be happy when everything is honky-dorey. it's when the poop hits the pavement that we think it's hard to be happy. but if ya boil it all down to THIS MOMENT...and you look around for just a minute...you can always find something to make you smile. something to be grateful for. something to make your heart do a little dance. if only you'd take that moment, ya know?

i'm pretty sure that all this crapola is temporary. i'm also pretty sure that soon, VERY soon, it'll all be a distant memory...something for me to remember (or not!) as a time when i was asked to look inside and see just how much i have...and how much i CAN...and how many options abound for me to live the best life ever. tell ya the truth....i am SOOOOOOOOOO looking forward to that (distant memory)! for now, though, i'm just gonna keep laughing about it. cuz the only other option is to cry. and what good would that do?

HAAAAAAAAAAAA!