Sometimes...It's Necessary

I don't care who ya are; everyone has days when no amount of meditation, exercise, sleep, alcohol, shopping, eating, dancing, romping, painting, singing, hanging with the critters, working one's ass off....will change the fact that you're in a FUNK.

It happens.

And sometimes...

it's best to just LET IT.

Being the Queen of Choice (as in JOY...), I am just as susceptible to such days as anyone else. No. They don't happen often (thank the gods!), but still...they happen. When they do, I am just as prone to skirting that sadness as the next person. I use every single tool in my toolbox to avoid the Funk. I go above and beyond. I do back flips. I jump on trampolines. I eat chocolate. I am a MASTER of avoidance when it comes to The Funk.

Sometimes it doesn't matter. The Funk is a mighty powerful opponent.

On such days, I remember, clear as a bell, something my sister told me. She left the planet a month ago. Perhaps my Funk has something to do with that. Perhaps not. No matter. She wrote this on a post I'd written when Bruzer crossed the Rainbow Bridge:

Sweet Sister,
I just wanted to drop a few thoughts here, maybe they will be useful, maybe not. But I know you are in deep pain & being who I am, I feel a need to DO something to help you feel better.
We are spiritual beings having human experiences and sadness is truly a part of it. Yes, honey, we can often choose joy but sometimes we have to FEEL the sadness first. It makes the joy so much sweeter. So right now, you can choose to allow yourself to be sad and be TRUE to your feelings or you can "fake it 'til you make it" but sooner or later, your human experience must unfold. I don't want this to sound preachy...I just want to comfort you.
Bruzer remains a part of you always. Memories can make us smile & cry at the same time. Hence the term "bittersweet". It's OK to FEEL this. It doesn't make us any less spiritual or evolved. It makes us stronger & more grateful.
I love you, baby girl.

If I am the Queen of Joy, Cricket was the Queen of Hearts. That's just who she was. (IS!) She believed, wholeheartedly, in FEELING. She was not one to run away from her heart, no matter how badly it hurt. She often tried to guide me to live this way. I often ignored her wisdom. I was (and still am!) convinced that we have the power to change how we feel by the thoughts we think. For the most part, that is true. For me. Again....back to the beginning: I don't care who ya are, you're going to have days....

The Funk may engulf, but it need not rule. Yes. It's part of our Human experience. Let The Funk rise up. Allow your Self to feel it. And then...

You can make your way back to The Joy that is Who You Really Are.

Ya can't have one without the other.
Or so I've been told.

GiddyUP ~~~

In Honor of MerryMe

The name of this blog is JoyZAChoice. You probably already know that, but in case you forgot...I thought I'd remind you before I continue with this missive.

I remind you so that you will keep it in your heart as you read further. Today's little 'message' is being written specifically for my friend, MerryMe. She is about to embark on a brand new journey. And it may just be that she hasn't yet gotten her sea-legs. So... I just wanted to remind you that this blog is all about choosing Joy. For some, the matter of death is not so much a joyful thing. Small wonder, considering what we have been taught about the whole process.

I'll grant you...when someone leaves us it is not usually cause for celebration. We want them near us. We want to talk with them and laugh with them and hold them and touch them. We want their physical presence, not some LaLaLand version of their presence. I get it. I, too, have had my moments of sadness when someone I love has moved on. I don't much like their absence. BUT....

There are many traditions that celebrate death. They hold the belief that now their loved one(s) are at peace. They no longer feel pain or angst or any less-than feelings. They have returned to their Source, whatever that may mean to them. In short, it is a happy occasion. One to celebrate with laughter and the telling of stories and the sharing of food and drink. Break out the band. Break out the wine. Break out the balloons. Time to party!

I say this now because I wish to hold true to the purpose of this blog. AND because I saw something on MerryMe's blog that got my shorts in a twist. Someone wrote a comment telling her to "make time to grieve". And I thought, "WOW! REALLY? You're encouraging her to be sad???" I'm certain the person was lending support and love. But I question the stubborn consistency of such traditions.

Why must we mourn?
Why must we grieve?
Why must we 'make time' to feel such sadness?

I'm not trying to undermine or diminish anyone's feelings here. I'm simply saying that there is another way to meet death. And it doesn't have to be all tears and aching. It can be a celebration. Because, from my experience with such things, it is not the person who has passed we grieve for.

It is for ourselves.

We miss the person we are when they're around. We want the feelings they evoked. We want the surging of love they inspired. It is all about what WE won't be having now that they're gone. Once seen from this perspective, it pretty much negates the 'need to grieve'. It gives us another window from which to view this ongoing cycle of life. And it sure beats the hell outta feeling like crap for weeks or months or years on end.

Maybe I've just experienced so much 'death' that I have grown a kind of armor. Or maybe, just maybe, I'm finally remembering that death isn't anything we need fear. Death is a beautiful part of the process of Life. Ya just can't have one without the other. Period. So why fear it? Why mourn the passing of a life? Why not carry all those wonderful moments in our hearts, and smile that we were graced to have them?

It is my greatest wish that my friend walk through this next 'part' with grace and joy. I am not here to tell ya'll how to deal with the passing of a loved one. I'm simply offering yet another choice. Because that, my friends, is what this Life is all about.

I pray, MerryMe...that you will choose JOY.

P.S. And if you DO....you can forgo all the guilt crap too. I'm quite certain that there is no "guilt" on the Other Side!