Magnificent Sublime

I have come to trust the Universe in all Its splendor. I have learned this trust by throwing my arms in the air and shouting LOUDLY whenever the frustration, or fear, or aggravation grows too large for me to handle. In short, when all else fails, I give it up to the U.

I am usually not disappointed.

Having said that, you should also know that I didn't always feel this way. There was a time when I'd fight like a cornered cat to get things done. I'd refuse to give up. I was as stubborn and tenacious as a darling Pit Bull, certain I could fix anything that needed fixin'.

Mostly, the more I resisted, the worse things got.

There are some things that are just not in our control. And mostly, when folks like me get all wanged out over some thing or another, it is because there's something we cannot control. Hence the moniker: Control Freak. Happily, those days have passed and I no longer operate that way.

Yes, Albert, there is order in the Universe.

So, today, whilst toodling about town, running my various errands, I stopped into my favorite pet store to purchase food and a goodie for my darlin'est Sophie. Usually, she'd be with me for this particular errand because: a) they let you bring your puppy/bird/cat/etc. into the store and b) she LOVES the extra attention and the treats she gets when we go there.

                             

Today, I had to leave Sophie home because it was just too danged hot for her to be sitting in the truck. Being the brilliant puppy she is, she has come to understand that when I say, "You have to stay home. It's just too hot for you to sit in the truck.", that's her cue to go into her Puppy Cave and chill. Which she does. Without complaint. She doesn't even make a dash for the door. She just chills under the bed, in full confidence that yes, I will return AND she will most likely get a treat when I do.

She's good like that.

When I walked into the wonderfully air-conditioned store, the manager (darling Ben) greeted me with his usual genuine smile. As did the other lovely woman who works there. It was relatively quiet, so while Ben rang up my purchase, the three of us chatted about my absent Sophie. Which led to a little story about a minor fiasco that occurred a week ago. Laura, the woman, had helped me with a query I'd had about one of the hens. She even called to the Ramona store to get answers for me. So, today, she asked how they were doing. I shared with them the story of said fiasco, whereby the landlady had left the coop door ajar, and two of the hens made their great escape. Of course, Sophie AND the landlady's 2 little Yorkies (scamps, both!) were all gathered 'round the coop. Immediately Landlady made a dash for one of the hens. So did Sophie. And the two Scamps. My heart did a triple gaynor before I stopped, took a GIANT breath, and called for Sophie to STOP. I was sure she was going to kill that chicken. To my great surprise, she did NOT. Instead, she ran around it and began herding her toward me. I could barely believe my eyes. I was calling the chicken (who I've name Miss Vivienne) and also telling Sophie what a good girl she was. Worked like a charm. That dang chicken ran right to me, where I quickly scooped her up and started walking back to the coop.

Meanwhile, Blanca was still running away from Landlady. And the Scamps were running after Blanca. I used my Big Voice, "KNOCK IT OFF!" and both dogs sat down quick as a hiccup. I turned to Landlady and said, "just get behind her. She'll walk right back in."

And...she did.

All the chickens are safe in the coop and Sophie is standing right at my ankle, looking up at me all happy and proud. "Good GIRL, Sophie! GOOD GIRL!"

Back to today: I'm telling this story to Ben and Laura and she starts clapping her hands gleefully. She is absolutely thrilled over all this. Tells me she's got goose bumps. And that she's so proud of Sophie. Both of us are grinning like Cheshires. And Ben is standing there, with my card in his hand, smiling as only a man watching two ridiculous women can. (Actually, he wasn't judging. I could tell. He was merely taking it all in, and smiling at our little bonding moment. Or something like that.) It was one of those moments that makes you happy to be alive.

Just as I was about to leave, Laura complimented me on the hat I was wearing. Mostly, I think, she liked the peacock feathers. I thanked her and asked, "Do you like peacocks?" (who doesn't?!). "Oh yes! They are stunning birds!" I tell her to walk out to my truck with me and I'll give her the one I picked up on my way out of the house. He's molting right now. There are feathers EVERYWHERE. It's like Christmas in August. Gorgeous peacock feathers surround my little house every morning. It never ceases to thrill me.

I can't even begin to tell you how that woman lit up. You'd have thought I was about to hand her the winning MegaLotto ticket. My heart did another triple gaynor. Only this time it was for the Joy that was flyin' around that store. So much JOY!

When we got to my truck, she said, "I know this is going to sound weird, but I SWEAR I know you from somewhere. Like...from some life time long ago. Do you think that's weird?"

"Not at all. I feel the same way. Like we've been friends for eons. I understand."

I handed her the feather, and she immediately teared up. She was overwhelmed by the moment and it showed all over her face. I gave her a hug as she said, "I have no idea why I'm crying! You must think I'm nuts." I said, "No, Laura. You're  not nuts. It's just that we haven't seen each other in a very long time. Don't you think?"

Then, together, we laughed. Long and loud. She gave me another hug and thanked me, over and over. "I don't know where all this is coming from, but it sure is a great way to start the week. You have NO idea how much I needed this today."

As I got in my truck, she stood there, tears rolling down her cheeks and a GINORMOUS grin on her face. Both of us had been lifted, wayyyyy high. Both of us felt that kinship that only Old Souls recognize. Both of us had our faith in the Universe fully restored.

There are no accidents.
Or coincidences.
Or chance meetings.
There is only the magnificent, sublime Universe working Its magick...on all of us.

If only we will allow it.

Yes, my Darlin's. Joy is a CHOICE.

Trust Your Gut {Pt. 2}

It's enough to make a person scream. The vacillating opinions of so-called nutritionistas (if I say a word and you understand the word, then it's a word. Just look at a dictionary from ten years ago. And then...one from today. All kinds of "new" words in today's. Even if some of them are dumb. Like "selfie". Dumb word. But oh-so-familiar now.)

As I was saying...

The vacillating opinions of nutritionistas whose findings change yearly. First you're not supposed to eat the egg yolks. Too much fat. Then, they tell you, the egg white actually balances the fat of the yolk, so it's now "the perfect food". Or fatty foods. Like avocados. Don't eat them! They're loaded with fat! Next week, avocados are also "the perfect food" because, as it turns out, we need that kind of fat. Or fish. Or bread. Or pasta. The list goes on and on. In the end, you just never know what foods are "good" for you and which ones are gonna kill ya.

Aside #1: Just the other day I saw something that read "eating seven or more servings of fruits/vegetables a day reduces the risk of death by 42%."

Okay...first of all, I don't care how many servings you eat, you're still gonna die. Eventually. Second, why are we so obsessed with not dying? We all know it's inevitable. We all know we can't beat it. So what the f#@! is the big deal? From the moment we're born, we begin the journey to death. It is what it is. Get over it.

So then...back to the food thing.

In the end, if you really are paying attention to your own body, it's going to tell you what's good for you and what isn't. You're going to feel it. If you're paying attention. You don't need a degree in nutrition to understand the fundamentals of good eating. Your cravings? They're telling you that your body needs something that particular food holds. Assuming you're already taking good care of yourself. You know...balanced meals, working out, meditating, and all that jazz.

Balance. Good, basic balance.

In the end...it really is about trusting your gut. In the most literal terms. Your gut houses a plethora of microscopic goodies that really do affect the whole rest of your body. If you balance your food intake, your gut will do the rest. But even if you eat the best foods; organic and fresh and leafy and lean, if you're all stressed out all the time, all that good eatin' isn't going to help. Stress will kill you faster than McDonald's Big Macs (ICK. ICK. ICK.) or drinking a fifth of Jack Daniels every day.

Back to balance.

When folks talk about "holistic" medicine, they're talking about the WHOLE of you. That equals body/mind/spirit. So eating well doesn't mean diddly if you're not taking care of the other two "parts". You don't need to run marathons or meditate four hours a day. You just need to make some time to push your body a bit so it gets all heated up (a little sweat will do) and take some quiet time to calm your mind. Gardening is just as meditative as sitting in the lotus position. Or playing with your critter. Or taking a soothing walk. Anything that will get your busy brain to shut up for a while. That's as much a meditation as anything your local guru can offer.

Get where I'm going here?

Your gut, as it were, is as much the physical stomach as it is your intuition. So trust it. Listen. And take some time to take care of you.

In the end, when death comes a'knockin', instead of being afraid, perhaps you'll meet it with a smile and say "I'm ready. What's next?"

Cowgirl UP!

T'was not so long ago that this was a part of my life. A huge part. I had the great fortune of meeting some folks many years earlier who became two of my biggest fans. That was back when I was performing in some of the smaller local venues in the Puget Sound area. I had a day job as a barista at a little place that was owned by a guy who really liked the idea of promoting local talent. So I'd make coffee by day and play by night. Good gigs both. That's where I met the couple who would eventually change my life. That is, they had horses, as well as a ten acre piece of heaven with a four stall barn and room for "extras". When Jack came across the horse that would be mine, he called me to come meet him. The horse was a bit "mouthy" and not the least bit kindly toward Two-Leggeds (Humans). For good reason. He'd been untouched for the better part of his thirteen years. The woman who had him was more interested in his kindly mama; she never rode the little guy. When his mama died, she tried to reconnect. He wanted nothing to do with her or her saddles, bits, reins, lessons, shoes or rules. So every time she tried to approach him, he'd rear and kick and bite and go a little cuckoo. Who could blame him?

To shorten this story just a bit, the woman finally called Jack who had to walk the poor critter seven miles to his own house because the critter would not have anything to do with loading onto a trailer. Two weeks later, I got the call. Why this man thought I was the person for this particular horse still remains a bit of a mystery to me. He told me that he'd had a talk with his "tribe" and was directed to "Qwanee". That is the Sioux word for "spirit guide". And that is what he always called me. Again, a bit of a mystery. But...I trusted this man to the nth degree and decided to go have a look at the horse.

To say that it was love at first sight is a grand understatement. For both of us. He just took an instant liking to me and I to him. From that moment on, I was his person. Shortly after our meeting, I was up on his back. No saddle, no bit. Just me and him and a prayer. I just couldn't bare the idea of putting a bit in his mouth. I suspect the reason he was so gentle with me was that I was so gentle with him. He never balked. Not once. He was as patient and funny and awesome a horse as I ever knew. And he taught me that when one follows one's instincts, one is usually rewarded far beyond one's imagination. Ours was a match made in  heaven and I still cherish every moment we had together.

Now, the reason I bring all this up today is that it has been an eternity since I rode. For reasons I'd rather not get into, I just haven't. Physical limitations and other circumstances led me to this abstinence. I still have his lead and halter in my truck. I refuse to give them up. Even though he has gone on to other adventures, I believe with the whole of my Being that I will ride again. And now, it seems, that dream may be closer than I thought. Hence this particular meandering. In short...my life is about to change in a HUGE way.

Before I share what those changes are, I am going to offer this up and then take my leave. Because the truth is, it doesn't really matter why or how or what. What matters is that I have stood in this place of trust and unyielding belief for the past six+ years and now that belief is bringing me to my vision. Because I never stopped trusting that the gods would bring me back 'round to the things I love most, I am about to live them. And because of the love and support of so many people in my world, I take this grand adventure without fear or doubt. In essence, those things that we see in our minds, even when we cannot see them "in reality" (what a stupid word), those things are ours for the living. If only we will ignore the nay-sayers and continue on in our stubborn, tenacious way.

This I know for sure.

Do you?

and the answer is....

WOWZA! That last post sure did stir the pot! Lots of folks responded with some very interesting thoughts. On all counts it appeared that they gave great thought to the question. BRAVO! And thank you ALL for your participation. Great fun for me all the way around. I am deeply moved by your willingness to share. THANK YOU!

As for my own answer: quite a few asked me to 'reveal' and I have no qualms about doing so. After all, the whole purpose of the question was to inspire each of us to look inside and really dig for what matters most. As I mentioned previously, I had enough time to think about it, but not so much time as to allow my logic to talk me out of anything. In other words, the perfect amount of time to let the instincts kick in. And most of you already know that I'm BIG on instincts. But enough with the stalling....

My response was: a pill that would remove ALL doubt.

Allow me to elaborate:

In my world, doubt is the one thing that causes the biggest challenge. There is a part of me that 'believes' I am capable of anything. I have the power to change anything I want, be it physical, emotional, spiritual, tangible, etc. But a belief is not the same as a knowing. To me, there is a vast difference. A belief is simply a thought you think over and over until it embeds itself in your mind. But a knowing....well, that's got nothing to do with your mind. A knowing is something that reaches all the way down to the very core of your Being; all the way to the cells of your body and out beyond the furthest reaches of what can be seen. A knowing is something so much larger than a belief...

Here's what I mean:

Have you ever had a moment when you were faced with a challenge and for some 'unknown reason', you just KNEW what to do? You had no "proof" for your response or your reaction. You had no previous experience to refer to. You had absolutely no idea why you knew what to do, you just knew.

This is the epitome of a knowing. As opposed to a belief. Because beliefs change...all the time. But a knowing is something that we have taken with us into this physical form we now occupy. It is a true connection to All That Is. It is the knowing of everything that has ever been. In those moments when we tap into that Source, there is NO DOUBT. There is no fear. There is no hesitation.

We just KNOW.

I've been graced with moments like these many times in my life. It is in those moments I remember who I really am. I remember my limitless power. I remember that there is nothing for me to fear or worry over. I remember that everything is a result of my own thoughts...and I CAN do or be or have anything I want.

The flip-side of that is the doubt. Haven't you ever noticed how much differently things are when you are in full confidence? How, no matter what it is you're dealing with, when you are in full confidence it is all so easy and fun? The way that you hold yourself, and the energy that flows through you is like a bolt of electricity that makes you feel all frisky and unstoppable. Do you know that feeling?

That is the feeling one has when there is NO DOUBT. It is that unshakable confidence that tells you you're as powerful as the whole of the Universe. Kinda like when you were a kid and you wanted to try the high dive. Your mama was hollerin' at you, "NO! YOU'LL HURT YOURSELF! IT'S TOO HIGH!"

But you didn't have a doubt in your mind that you could do it. You didn't think about hurting yourself or messing up or not being able to do it. You just wanted the thrill of that dive and you went for it in all your doubt-free glory. THAT is what I'm talking about.

I love that feeling. I love the knowing that no matter what, I am going to feel the thrill of it all. And so, my pill would remove all doubt...so I would never question myself ever again.

Just think of all the things that would change were we to remove ALL DOUBT!