mustering faith

Have you ever noticed that when you're in a spot and you're looking for answers, people love to throw around the phrase, "have a little faith". They speak of this "thing" as if everyone knows what it is or how to have it. As if we all learned the secret to Faith and can call on it whenever we need to.

The trouble with Faith is that the more you need it, the less available it seems to be. Perhaps it is my aversion to all things religious. Or maybe it's because the only time I question this thing is, well, when I need it most. More often than not, when I hear someone utter those words, I roll my eyes and use every ounce of willpower I have to not punch them in the face.

{YIKES!}

So what is it, exactly? This thing called Faith?

I once heard Maya Angelou's son tell Oprah that his mother had "faith like a rock"; he added that he wanted to have that kind of faith but hadn't the first clue about how to get it.

I nodded my head in agreement.

I have friends who are deeply religious. Although I don't share their beliefs, it has never kept us from being and staying friends. We don't hold it against each other that our belief systems are different. There is no judgment or ill-will. It's the old, "to each his own" kind of attitude. A rare and lovely kind of bond.

I also have friends who claim atheism. I stand on that edge...ever mindful of my own meanderings when things get tough. How is it that I don't believe in the "God of Abraham", or any god for that matter, but when the shit hits the fan, my first thought is, "sweet mother of Jesus, HELP ME!"? I find this both odd and disturbing. Because when I scan my soul for those "core" beliefs, god is not among them. I find the whole idea a bit ridiculous. And a whole lot of other not-so-nice things too. Mostly, though, I feel like there's just too much horrible history about how "people of faith" and/or "God-fearing Christians" use(d) their interpretations to terrorize and kill anyone who didn't buy what they were selling. From the Crusades to the Ku Klux Klan, and all the rest in between, these people have used "the word of god" to enslave and decimate entire populations.

{See what I mean about "aversion"?}

So what is it about Faith that eludes those of us without religion? Is Faith exclusive to religious belief? Do you have to believe in some kind of god in order to have it? And what about the other gods? Like Odin and Zeus and Brahma and Pan {my personal favorite} and Gaia (did you know she was Thor's mother?), and Kokopelli (same dude as Pan but of Native American origins)? If I believe in those gods, does Faith still carry weight?

At this point, I think it would be a good time to quote one of my favorite Humans {in the whole Universe!}. Because...he kinda says it all with this Vanity Card (May 2013). His name is Chuck Lorre. He is my Genius. When I first read this one, I laughed a rip-snortin' laugh, got up to write it down, and made a note to write him a letter asking him to marry me. {Which I did. The very next day. And several times since. He has yet to respond despite dozens of proposals.}

"I've been thinking about becoming a polytheist. No, this has nothing to do with missing Battlestar Galactica. And yes, I realize my blasphemous notion flies in the face of a few thousand years of "Ye shall have no other gods before me." (To be honest, even when I was a kid that commandment troubled me. It sounded like a jealous girlfriend saying, If I catch you looking at other girls, you're in big trouble, Mister?" And don't get me started on how "no other gods before me" kinda implies that there might actually be some other gods loitering about.) But my main reason for considering becoming a Pagan (Pagish? Jewgan?), is that it neatly answers the age-old question, "Why does god allow so much suffering in the world?" When tragedy strikes, the monotheistic approach can only offer the tired old, "It is not for us to question god's will." Really? Why not us? Who else is in the questioning business? But look what happens when we ask the same question from a pantheistic perspective. Why do gods allow so much suffering in the world? Because outside of their particular area of expertise: farming, war, fertility, what-have-you, they are not even remotely in control. The buck stops nowhere. (In this scenario both the Old Testament and New Testament deities are off the hook as far as your general suffering is concerned.) But here's the really good news: with a polytheistic approach to prayer we can micro-target our beseeching. Trouble with love? Take it to Aphrodite. Not catching enough fish? Poseidon. Are you regularly waking up from alcohol-induced blackouts in the sleeping compartment of long-haul trucks that carry circus equipment and little people? That sounds like a job for Dionysus. Need your sitcom pilot to get picked up for the Fall season? Les Moonves. In other words, whatever the crisis might be, there's a god ready to take your call. What are you waiting for? Call now and receive a free goat-sacrificing kit! (Goat sold separately)"

And THAT, my friend, pretty much says what I think about the whole god thang. 

But it still doesn't answer my question: 

If you don't have Faith, where do you get it?

#joyzachoice #chucklorre #livinglivee #faith

When Death Is A Gift

We all know...that death is a part of life. Nobody likes it. Everybody thinks they understand it. But mostly, we do our best to avoid the subject altogether. We don't like to think about it. Or talk about it. Or face it when it comes time to face it. But, we all know...that death is a part of life.

Now, given that this blog is about Joy, about choosing Joy, one might wonder why in the world I'd be talking about death. Please...bear with me. Although there seems not to be anything joyful about it, there are times when death is welcome. Times when losing someone, so to speak, brings relief. To be sure, there is also sorrow. But when someone you love is in such deep and unyielding pain, suffering every moment of every day, for months on end, sometimes we pray for them to go. Sometimes we know that even though it means not having them on the Planet, we'd rather be without them than watch them suffer. When death comes, in times like this, we'll often feel, not only relief, but joy. Joy for this loved one to have cast aside the burdens of the body and soar. Whether one believes in a "heaven" or not, still there must be some other realm where we live on. Because if we are what scientists claim, if we are "energy", we know, too, that energy never dies. Energy may take different forms. It may be diffused or scattered or moved. But energy does not die. Ever.

With this in mind, no matter what a person's religious or spiritual beliefs, if one has any semblance of intuition, then one would know, somewhere deep in themselves, that death is really not. It is simply a transition. A transcendence. A variation of what we call "life". And knowing this somehow makes the whole death process just a little more bearable. Even when we know that there will be no more touching of hands or hugging of necks or kissing of cheeks, there is no thing that can stop the love that lives on. Because love, like energy, does not "die". Instead, it seems to deepen. To become even more treasured. And, if we're really mindful, death can also urge us to be more loving and appreciative of those who are still here, on this magnificent Planet, for us to touch. And hug. And kiss. Death, in some ways, is as much a gift as Life.

But still...it hurts.

So for today, I pray that those of you who have or are right now dealing with the passing of someone you love dearly, I pray you will remember that even amidst the pain of that loss, there is a gift. Your journey, being without their physical presence, does not need to destroy you. Walk that path, trusting that you will soon reach a peaceful spot on your own chosen path, where you will, once again, feel their presence. You will hear their voice and feel the love even more deeply than, perhaps, you did before they left. When you reach that place, sit yourself down and allow your spirit to luxuriate in the love that never dies.

Then....do your happy dance.

Faith Restored

In this world of abbreviated communications and out-sourced Customer Service, it is more than mere delight when one runs into an honest-to-goodness gem of a Human. To be able to communicate with actual words, not feeling the least bit "rushed", in my own language without the cursed misinterpretations that seem inevitable when speaking to someone in another country, it makes my whole MONTH to run into such a gem.

Sappy? Perhaps.
But for this Blossoming Being, it matters.
A LOT.

One such interaction was had by this Blossoming Being today. I shall call him Joe. (the names will be changed in order to protect the heroes...for now. And now, as I type, my lips are doing that "weird, upturn thing at the corners".  Daily bread, indeed.)

This fella, "Joe", makes dealing with "issues" a genuine romp. He is kind, friendly to the nth degree, intelligent, funny, and, yes, SPARKLY. He turns what might otherwise be a nuisance into a party. It's always a little sad when he's done  his job, brilliantly, of course, and we must end our call. But, on the bright side, he often sets the tone for the rest of my day. And week. And...well, you get it.

I share this with you now, in a sort of follow-up to my last post. I didn't exactly end on my usual Joy-full note. I was having some trouble finding it that day. As I was reminded today, "we all have our days....". But I really did wish to bring some light, as I always wish to do here, and felt that I failed. Now, with this short missive, I hope to make things right. To finish what I did not finish on that last post. To make certain that you know there are going to be days when it's hard to find the "bright side", no matter how badly you want to. I'm not crazy 'bout those days. Happily, I don't experience them often. Still, it just felt wrong to leave you hanging like that. Here's the good news:

Because of that moment, when I wrote what I wrote, I was determined to look even more diligently for the Joy in my world. I was tenaciously, stubbornly, absolutely determined. And, due to that dogged determination, even though it took a few days, I was rewarded with Joe and his sunny, sparkly, beautiful Self. So, you see, it really does work. This whole "choosing" thang. It works because we always, always have the choice to opt for Joy ... or NOT.

I pick Joy.

Thanks, "Joe". You really DO, every single time, make my day!

Never, Ever Give Up

There are thousands of quotes, by all kinds of famous people, all of them certain that the key to success, however you define it, is to never, ever give up. It doesn't matter what it is you're wanting to accomplish. It doesn't matter if you're talking about a dream, or a goal, or a realtionship, or a physical battle with some kind of malady. Whether it's about love or health or money. Whether it's about living to see your daughter walk down the aisle. Or your grandbaby come into the world. Or your sister recover from cancer. No matter. Whatever it is, just do NOT give up.

There is always a reason why such adages stick around for so long. It's because they're little nuggets of truth that have been experienced over and over by millions of people who refused to quit. They were so stubborn, so tenacious, so absolutely certain that they would succeed, it never occurred to them to stop trying. 

Or maybe it did.

Maybe they had moments when they thought they couldn't take one more step. Maybe they had doubts. Maybe they thought it would kill them if they tried any more. Maybe they even contemplated putting a gun to their head or jumping out a window.

But they didn't.

They found a way to move through those doubts. And kept kicking ass. Kept holding on to their truth. Kept seeing whatever it was they were sure would come, if only they kept getting back up.

Because sometimes, when you least expect it, stuff shows up to help you along. People or happy serendipities or hallelujah days, any of which give you a shove at just the right moment. It could come in the form of a book. Or a class. Or a note from a stranger. It could be a memory or a song or a box you found with some treasure you'd forgotten all about. One way or another, that "something" arrives just before you pull the trigger and you say to yourself, "HEY! WHAT AM I DOING??? I DON'T WANT TO QUIT! THIS FIGHT AIN'T OVER YET!"

So if you're there, if you're struggling with something that's trying extra hard to kick the shit out of you, please hear this:

NEVER, EVER GIVE UP.

Miracles happen at the oddest moments. But if you curl up and quit, or load that gun and use it, or jump out that window, how will you ever know how close you were?

trust the process....

Word was if I would just stay the course, I'd feel the tipping point. I'd reach that little milestone that would tell me I'd shifted. I would feel it, as one might feel a fever break.

Turns out, they were right. Contrary to popular belief, when such things happen, there are no grand angelic choruses or spine-tingling Ah-HAAAs. It's more like the moment just after the sun breaks over the horizon. You can sit there, watching the kaleidoscopic colors wash across the sky for those few minutes just before the sun rises...but when it does, it's nowhere near as stunning as the moments that preceded the rising. A bit of a let-down, if you choose to see it that way.

I don't.

For me, that tiny shift was just as spectacular as the moments leading up to it. It was an enormous sigh....of relief and of awareness. I felt it happen...and then I watched as everything in my world changed. The calm around me. The out-of-nowhere kindnesses of a person who had never once shown any hint of kindness. The smiles from strangers. The flow of revenues. The easing of my physical being. The deeper sleep. The taste of the tomatoes. All of it was heightened like never before.

All because I trusted the process. All because I knew that if I stopped taking count and just let stuff go the way it was meant to go it would bear the fruits of that trust. And now, as I sit and feel the calm that has washed over my world, I am in awe of the splendors that surround me. The sounds and aromas and even the taste of a simple glass of coke (which is, in itself, quite the rarity as I hardly ever drink the stuff!). Bruzer lazes at my feet and the sounds of my fountain gurgling on my desk make me grin like the Cheshire. I feel more alive than I've felt in eons. And all I did was trust.

Ain't that a HOOT?!