Stop Talking...

Isn't it funny how often we linger...or wallow...on stuff that is just plain icky? Don't you find it odd that of allllllllll the stuff you could think about, you dwell on the crap that is...crap? Or how, after a particularly awful encounter/event/conversation that leaves you feeling about as badly as you can feel, you find it necessary to retell it over and over and over? By the time you finish telling the story, whatever it happens to be, you feel just as horrible as you did when you first lived it. In other words, you tell the story, you live the story. All over again.

Why do we do that?

Why are we so compelled to re-live the shitty moments, telling the story to anyone who will listen? Do you suppose it's about some kind of need for validation? Or is it that we're looking for sympathy? Or maybe we feel like if we don't tell it to someone it'll eat us up from the inside out.

What do you think?

Do you find it easier to let go of things after you've told the story or do you just keep telling it over and over in some kind of twisted self-punishment? Like it's your fault that it happened. Like every single shitty thing that's ever happened is all your fault.

I'm thinking that our need to do this, to tell these awful stories, is one of the main reasons why there are so many uber-rich psychiatrists. For all the people I know who have ever had "therapy", I can't think of a single one who only went for a short time...and then stopped. As if there were no end to their "problems". As if every time they "fixed" something, something else popped up and they just had to keep going. For twenty-five years?

Never have understood that.

I don't begrudge anyone who wishes to get right in the head. Or heal some long-seated neurosis. I just don't understand how it could take twenty freakin' years to do it.

Call me crazy, but I'm thinking that maybe, just maybe, the reason why they can't seem to "get right" is because they keep talking about all the shit that someone else is telling them is "wrong".

Now, before you go getting all in a huff over my seemingly harsh analysis, please know that I really do believe that everyone ought to do things their way. I also believe that nobody can tell anybody else how or when or who is in charge of anyone else's healing. That being said, it seems to me, based on my personal experiences, that the very best way to get over anything is to just have a look, learn what you can, and ditch that shit with the first garbage truck that passes by. Toss it. Burn it. Write it a note and bury it in the ground. Say "Hasta la vista, MoFo!" and never look back.

Again. That's me.

You might be a person who feels a strong need to hash things over.
And over.
And over.
And over.
Until you get sick of hearing your own voice telling that tired-assed story.
Then...maybe...you leave it be.
Maybe.

If you happen to be one of those people, I have a question:

How's that working for you?

If you aren't one of those people but you find yourself stuck somewhere you really, really don't want to be, I will offer this:

STOP TALKING ABOUT IT.

Let me say that again.

STOP. TALKING. ABOUT. IT.

It might take you a few dozen tries, but I can guarantee that if you will just stop talking about whatever it is that's bugging you, that thing will get smaller and smaller and smaller and then

It will float off into the Cosmos, never again to suck the joy outta you.

No kidding.

arguing your limitations???

I'll be the first to admit that there are still some occasions when I argue my limitations. It's quite the curious thing to me. That I would argue about why I can't do this or I can't have that. Very curious indeed. Especially given the fact that I am a devout believer in Anything Is Possible. So why in the world would I argue my limitations? It makes no sense whatsoever; yet, still I find myself doing just that. {I can happily report that I don't do it nearly as often as I once did. I'm much too aware of that icky feeling now. But...there's a point here...}

And here it is:

Let's say a friend calls you up and says, "Hey! Let's go on a road trip! We could cruise to the Grand Canyon and hang out for a few days. Whaddya say?"

To which you might respond, "Gee. That sounds terrific. BUT I don't have any money at the moment. So I "can't" right now."

And then you might launch into all the reasons why you don't have any money right now. You'll explain, justify, and give great detail about your "current financial circumstances". You are, in essence, arguing your limitations.

How could this possibly help? How could this ever change "what is" to "what I want"?

It can't. Not on any level. The more you stay stuck in that "story", the more you live it. It would be impossible for you to move past any of it until you change two things:  how you perceive your world, AND how you feel about it.

From all prior "experiments" I've done, I know without question that the way to change something is to SEE IT, FEEL IT, KNOW IT first. I can say this with deep confidence because I've done it. Lots and lots of times. Trying to figure out the "hows" is completely counterproductive. It is not our 'job' to figure out "how". That's a job for the Universe. Our job is to decide what we want, take the time to actually "go there" and then relax. Trusting that the Universe ALWAYS delivers, we can let it go and just watch with eager anticipation as it all unfolds. There is no need to DO anything else. Relax and watch the unfolding. Like a kid on Christmas Eve. Excited because you just KNOW that Santa is going to deliver. No fear. No doubt. No "but what if....". Just absolute confidence that ol' Santa is gonna show up and leave the loot under the tree.

Which brings us right back to the arguing limitations thing. It's like you're stuck in some kind of endless loop of "what is" without ever realizing you're putting yourself there. As in: it is all YOUR doing. You're the one who's playing that retched tape that plays the same crap over and over. What you may not realize is that you have the power to snatch that sucker out of the player and replace it with something different. And the best part about that? You DO NOT HAVE TO JUSTIFY WHY YOU DID IT. You don't have to justify ANYTHING you do. Not the red shoes you put on this morning or the sexy black bra you have on under your Lady Gaga t-shirt or the purple streaks you put in your hair last time you were having a bad hair day. There isn't a single thing you need justify to anyone; so why in the world would you argue your limitations?

It's just plain crazy.