Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Stop Talking...

Isn't it funny how often we linger...or wallow...on stuff that is just plain icky? Don't you find it odd that of allllllllll the stuff you could think about, you dwell on the crap that is...crap? Or how, after a particularly awful encounter/event/conversation that leaves you feeling about as badly as you can feel, you find it necessary to retell it over and over and over? By the time you finish telling the story, whatever it happens to be, you feel just as horrible as you did when you first lived it. In other words, you tell the story, you live the story. All over again.

Why do we do that?

Why are we so compelled to re-live the shitty moments, telling the story to anyone who will listen? Do you suppose it's about some kind of need for validation? Or is it that we're looking for sympathy? Or maybe we feel like if we don't tell it to someone it'll eat us up from the inside out.

What do you think?

Do you find it easier to let go of things after you've told the story or do you just keep telling it over and over in some kind of twisted self-punishment? Like it's your fault that it happened. Like every single shitty thing that's ever happened is all your fault.

I'm thinking that our need to do this, to tell these awful stories, is one of the main reasons why there are so many uber-rich psychiatrists. For all the people I know who have ever had "therapy", I can't think of a single one who only went for a short time...and then stopped. As if there were no end to their "problems". As if every time they "fixed" something, something else popped up and they just had to keep going. For twenty-five years?

Never have understood that.

I don't begrudge anyone who wishes to get right in the head. Or heal some long-seated neurosis. I just don't understand how it could take twenty freakin' years to do it.

Call me crazy, but I'm thinking that maybe, just maybe, the reason why they can't seem to "get right" is because they keep talking about all the shit that someone else is telling them is "wrong".

Now, before you go getting all in a huff over my seemingly harsh analysis, please know that I really do believe that everyone ought to do things their way. I also believe that nobody can tell anybody else how or when or who is in charge of anyone else's healing. That being said, it seems to me, based on my personal experiences, that the very best way to get over anything is to just have a look, learn what you can, and ditch that shit with the first garbage truck that passes by. Toss it. Burn it. Write it a note and bury it in the ground. Say "Hasta la vista, MoFo!" and never look back.

Again. That's me.

You might be a person who feels a strong need to hash things over.
And over.
And over.
And over.
Until you get sick of hearing your own voice telling that tired-assed story. leave it be.

If you happen to be one of those people, I have a question:

How's that working for you?

If you aren't one of those people but you find yourself stuck somewhere you really, really don't want to be, I will offer this:


Let me say that again.


It might take you a few dozen tries, but I can guarantee that if you will just stop talking about whatever it is that's bugging you, that thing will get smaller and smaller and smaller and then

It will float off into the Cosmos, never again to suck the joy outta you.

No kidding.

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