Tuesday, October 27, 2009

something to think about ~

If you've ever been on the back of a bucking horse you've not doubt felt the power of these magnificent creatures...along with the pure exhilaration and absolute terror of the moment. When it happens, all you can do is hold and and hope it doesn't kill you. I've experienced this more than a few times, and I can tell ya...it's something you never forget.

I'm one of the lucky ones.
I'm still here to talk about it.

Why horses buck is no mystery. There are a few reasons why horses buck ~ out of fear, or because they have some extra 'ya-ya's they need to get out (younger horses do this all the time. It's fun to watch...so long as you're not right next to them when they do it!), and sometimes, it's plain old frustration. They don't know what you're asking for. There are some 'links of knowledge' that are missing. They're confused, which leads to fear, which leads to full-blown YEEEEEHAWW! The trick, of course, is to remain calm (right!) and ride it out.

People, on the other hand, tend to handle frustration quite a bit differently. Some may react with anger and try to force a solution to the issue. Or maybe resort to the 'same old same old', as in repeating the same behavior and/or reaction, making the same unsuccessful efforts over and over and expecting a different result. I believe Mr. Einstein called this the definition of insanity. Some people react with resignation and abandon their efforts completely.

Another way to respond is with deliberation. Seeing that we're in over our heads, we can step back from the situation and start looking for ways to gain enough knowledge to come up with a workable solution. That is, if we don't let our egos get in the way. Always a problem. After all, it can be kinda hard to admit when we've come up against a situation we thought we were prepared for, but really weren't. It's not an easy thing, coming to the 'last link' in our chain of knowledge.

But here's the thing: whenever we're met with situations like this, especially if we're having to deal with someone else in their frustrated state, it's absolutely essential to not react. Take a minute (or 10) to see what's going on. Don't retaliate. Don't make some snarky comment. Don't push back. Because every time we do that, all we do is fuel the flames of that icky fire, make the other person feel even more defensive, AND make ourselves feel equally icky. It just doesn't work. The crap just grows and grows, turning into some ridiculous contest of wills. And it's not uncommon for the conversation to turn into the same kind of stupid crap we did when we were in grade school. Name calling. Finger pointing. Foot stomping insanity. NOT fun.

While some may argue that it's important to resolve an issue quickly, I tend to think there are times when it's best to just IGNORE them. When someone resorts to name calling and the like, it's usually because they're scared, insecure and simply not mature enough to handle the situation. Why bother fighting with that? If you just walk away, without saying a single word, it's quite likely (that) you'll simply take the air out of the whole stupid mess. If you don't retaliate, there's not a whole hellofalot they can do. Like the proverbial air in a balloon...it just fizzes out and drops to the floor. Then, after the person in question has a little time to think about what they've said and/or done, they may just see what you were trying to show them in the first place. But even if they don't, you still don't have to do their dance. After all, it is NOT your job to school every person you run across. It's their job to figure it out. Your only responsibility is to insure your own evolution, without harm, without malice, without judgment.

Just remember: It takes TWO to Tango.

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