Friday, January 31, 2014

Arguing Your Limitations

Ever hear yourself making excuses for why you "can't" something or other? Ever find yourself wondering "how" you're going to do this or that thing? Ever get tired of that shit?

It seems pretty obvious afterwards, but when you're in it, not so much. I could write an entire book on the topic. We could call it "All the Reasons Why" or "Thanks for Asking But I Can't" or "I Just Don't Know How". Endless options for the same old crap. Excuses are excuses. 

Now I'm not saying that sometimes there really are reasons why you won't or can't or really don't know how. I'm sure there are perfectly good reasons for missing that family gathering that would cost you a month's salary or time off you really don't have. I'm also quite certain that there are moments when you just don't have the wherewithal to bother. I'm not talking about that stuff. I sure do understand the not wanting to's or the can't-be-bothered stuff. I'm talking about making a habit of the Auto Response. Like ...

Let's say that you've got some sort of hard-core malady going on in your body. You haven't worked in years. You're barely eking by. You might have an awesome Tribe who makes sure you eat, but more than bare essentials are out of the question. Or maybe you're just good at living on pennies. Or you have checked out of your Life because your pain is just too freakin' large. So you've gathered all these Auto Responses in an attempt to make it less painful to deal with all the things you've decided you "can't" do. Whether it's money or pain or transportation or isolation, you just don't see how you're going to do any of those things that really matter to you.

So you quit.

You make a decision to stop torturing yourself and just say no.

You find distractions to soften the agony of exclusion.

You argue your limitations.

This is  not unusual, nor is it difficult to understand. It's a whole lot easier to throw in the towel than it is to suffer through yet another agonizing denial of all that you wish you could do, be, have, experience. 

I get it.

The problem with this is once you've fallen into that nasty pattern, it's really, really, REALLY hard to even see that you're doing it. It's hard to see that you've gotten so good at arguing your limitations that you don't even know they're self-imposed. It's a fucking nightmare. It's also a great way to not live the life you came here to live.

{Aside #1 ~  You won't normally read me cussing, although I have been known to cuss like a proverbial sailor. However, I happen to think that the word "fuck", in all its various forms, is one of the best words ever. This stems as much from my childhood environs as from a discourse the late George Carlin offered in one of his bits. If you haven't seen it, do. It's fucking awesome.}

So then. Where were we?....Oh yes...arguing your limitations.

The way I see it, we can go 'round arguing our limitations, in which case they'll become ours forever and ever amen. OR we can have a look at how they're serving us (or NOT) and get rid of those fuckers. 

{Aside #2 ~ In case you didn't check out what George had to say on the topic, I have handily offered an examples. You're welcome. In the first sentence, when I said,  "It's a fucking nightmare", the word is used as an adjective. In the second sentence, a noun. Quite the versatile word, see?}

Before you can (get rid of these self-imposed limitations) you must first realize that you've made them your own. Even if they were initially installed by somebody else. Maybe you were told you couldn't do something or that you needed a Plan B or that you were too short, too fat, not good enough, blah blah blah. But after hearing that crap for so long, you bought it. The limitations now belong to YOU.

Once you have identified what they are (where they came from isn't important. Really.), once you get past that really can begin to unload the boulders that have weighed you down like cement shoes from a bad Mafia movie, and find your way back to the Limitless Being that you truly are. You can write them down on fine linen papers and burn them in some kind of ritual. You can bid them adieu...and toss them over a cliff. You can bury them in the dirt and plant a tree on top. The most important thing is to realize that you're living in a state of exile, as it were, and if you want to have your life back, you'll have to cut those suckers loose.

And then

You can live your life. Just as you meant to.

So here we are....

Right back to where we always land....


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