Thursday, May 19, 2011

now??? or thinking about "when"?

One of the best things about living in deep solitude is knowing when to open your doors and let the rest of the world in. Being a Hermit is, for me, a choice. There's no doubt that I could go back to living in a city and having scads of people around. I could...if I wanted to. And I won't deny that there are moments when I might enjoy such noise and/or company. But, for the most part, it's just not my cup of tea anymore.

There was a time when I craved such environs. Had to have all kinds of people around. Noise and gatherings and hub-bub and all that jazz. That is why I chose the profession I chose. Working in restaurants/bars made for loads of activity, interaction and...well...action. But when I made the decision to get out of the biz, it was because I longed for quiet. I was done with all the people and their stuff. I was done with noise and interruptions and invasion of privacy. I was absolutely ready for my Hermitage. It was, as I said, a choice.

Living as I do is sheer delight for me. It's where I want to be. It suits me as well as my previous Life did. But still, there are times when I love to open my home and have those who are most special come visit. This past week was one such time. Having these friends in my home was like opening your windows for the first time after a long, cold winter. A breath of fresh spring air wafting through the house...warm and aromatic and uplifting. I love when those folks come for a visit. The fact that I live in such a marvelous place adds to the fun. This place is a haven...close enough to the "stuff" for us to go do things if that's what we want to do but still far enough out to have quiet. Rural but "close enough". Most of my friends live the City Life. So when they come to visit, they're mostly coming to get away from that environment. They come to just be. Quiet. Sated. Warm. Close. It is the best of all worlds....for all of us.

And then the day of departure comes. The wandering about the house to gather all their things. The packing of suitcases and lugging the stuff to the car. The good-byes looming large. Four or five or six days gone by in the blink of an eye...and then it is time to say farewell. But here's the coolest thing about it all (and the reason I'm sitting here right now, sharing what may seem to be a bit ... ordinary. It is not ordinary. It is fantastical. It is uplifting. It is nothing short of me.)

Not very long ago, the dreaded good-byes were enough to make my belly ache. I remember a time when I would count the much longer do we have? How much longer til you leave again? How much longer til the good-byes?

And now...

It is not that way. It is more about savoring every single moment with nary a thought about what day it is or what time it is or how much longer we have. It is the quintessential living in the moment. And that, my friend, is a very new thing for me. I have come to understand....and very much appreciate The Now. I get it. I never got that before. I couldn't stop my brain from going to that wasted place. But I get it. I don't just get it. I actually live it. And I can tell you first is a most spectacular thing to get.

Moments only last...for a moment. And the more time we spend worrying about when those moments will time spent wasting precious moments. Sounds silly, yes? But I ask you: how much time do you spend thinking about when the moment will end?

'Nuff said.

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