Thursday, March 18, 2010

Wrestling with Pride ~

She called today after months of absence to tell me that her life is a blur of activity. She's busy, busy, busy. She has so much going on that it's impossible to take a breath. She's running 250 MPH, 24/7 and wondering why her bones hurt.


Then she told me that a dear friend of hers wants to take her to Paris. Paris in SPRINGTIME! This friend wants to pay her way, from flight to food to accommodations. The whole nine yards. I could hear the resistance in her voice. I could tell she was struggling with her pride. I could feel the angst in her belly. All so very familiar to me. All so very foolish.

We come from a family of very proud people. A family that is so eager to give and so quick to refuse gifts from others. Proud to a fault. The epitome of foolish pride.

As I listened to her tell her story, I could also feel the excitement she was trying so hard to squelch. It wasn't working too well. Regardless of her effort, I knew she was imagining the possibility of letting go the pride and taking that trip with her friend. Next thing I know, she's talking about passports and birth certificates and arrangements for her critters. A big grin spread across my face. Just so happens I have her birth certificate from way back when I was her legal guardian. Knew exactly where it was and grabbed it as we talked. When I told her I had it, I could feel her releasing some of that resistance. I could see the grin on her face.

YESSSS! She's going to go!

Finally I said, "You know, maybe you might like to look at this a bit differently. Maybe you might like to consider that going with her is a gift YOU are giving to her. Maybe, just maybe, it's a way for you to finally begin accepting the endless gifts that you so deserve. We don't have to hold on to that foolish pride that hurt our dad so badly. We can let it go. Will you just consider it?"

She laughed her big, hearty laugh and said, "I knew you were going to say that. And I know you're right. I know it's hurting me. And yes, I'll consider it. I promise."

I hung up the phone and did a little dance. SHE'S GOING TO PARIS! No one deserves it more. She is one of the most giving, generous people on the planet. She is kind and selfless (also to a fault!) and so incredibly loving. And the fact that she's my sister has nothing to do with it. Even if she weren't, she'd still be my friend. And I'd still want her to go. Because she DOES deserve to have some fun and relax and TAKE for a change.

We shall see how that goes.

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