Friday, March 13, 2009

after the tears

i always thought that crying was a cleansing. like when you cry, it washes away the crap you need off you. mostly, when i cry, i don't try to stop it. i just cry until i'm all cried out. then i shower, hot long shower, and get on with it. yesterday tho, well those tears just kept coming and coming. it was so many there were. chella did her best to cheer me up...but nothing seemed to be 'working'. so i just kept letting them flow. today?

today i feel like there's a thick coating of goo all over me. foggy. surreal. kinda out-of-bodyish. weird. i just got up a couple of hours ago, and feel like i need to go back to bed. maybe i will. maybe i'll just sleep all day. or sleep until i get whatever kind of rest my body is asking for. it's been such a weird week. so many big emotions spilling out. is it the moon? is it cuz it's spring time? is it another big change coming? i don't know. i just feel like there's something brewing. and rather than try to figure it out, i'm gonna allow...allow me to go through whatever is coming, whatever is here now. i'm gonna just BE...and do my very best to enJOY the ride...however crazy it gets.


what a freakin' mess.

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