my best friend in the wholewideworld is having the time of her life right now. no kidding. she's been doing lots of 'work' on some soul stuff & really giving her all to that work. to me, there's no one who deserves to be happy more than she. she's got a heart the size of the grand canyon. she's always there to help her friends, regardless of her own situation...& sometimes to her own detriment. until recently.
after years of martyrdom, she finally saw it. she saw how much she was giving pieces of herself away when she really needed to keep them for herself. she saw how much she was being used by some of those people. she saw her light. when she did, she did a great big turn-around. & then...
then she made the decision to choose joy for herself. we talk about that alot. about how it's a choice. about how she creates her world (we all do that, of course...but not everyone likes hearing that stuff, cuz then they'd have to take responsibility for all the crap in their lives...but, i digress....) when she made the decision to stop before giving her pieces away, she really did change. a LOT. & i'm guessing there are some folks in her world who didn't like that one tiny bit. who cares. she knows why they don't like it...and she's dismissed a few of them entirely. she gets that there should be an equal enhancement between 2 people. she also gets that she is not responsible for their well-being. that one took her a while. but then, mostly it does (with most martyrs, that is). anyway, she saw it all and began taking steps to dial in to her own joy. watching this has been nothing short of spectacular.
now, today, she is about as happy as i've ever seen her. ever. in her whole life. that's a mighty big thing, ya know? she's so full of bliss that i can see the glow all the way over here (we live 500 miles apart). i can feel it like it were my own. i can hear the song in her heart clear as a bell. i can see that fantastic smile beaming. this joy is so authentic, it's palpable. honesttogod.
so, she sent me this email about having tried to explain her feelings last night, and how she just couldn't get the words to do it. of course, i didn't need the words, but she was trying anyway. and then, shortly afterward, she saw what it was. she saw the gift that had been laid gently in her arms. it wasn't about accidents or timing or mere chance. it was all about her finally, f-i-n-a-l-l-y loving her SELF. it took her til now to love her own self as much as i do. i used to tell her all the time, "if only you could see you the way i do. if only you could love you the way i do. one day soon...i promise...."
and so, she has. she got it. it's all hers now. and i know that no matter what ever happens from here on out, she shall always keep this. she shall always and forever hold her self with those beautiful hands wrapped in love. and i gotta tell ya, it doesn't get much better than that.
talk about choices!