Thursday, February 5, 2009
hold on to the good stuff
man-oh-man. sometimes i swear it's like pulling slivers from under the fingernails. OUCH! when my brain just keeps insisting on going to that fearful place...lack...how?...what's gonna happen to me? it makes me nutso. it makes me want to scream. it makes me think i have absolutely NO control over my own thoughts. & it really, really pisses me off. & then...
then, i have some other voice whisper....outta nowhere..."hey silly. where's the trust? what are you doing? how come you're going to that icky place again?"
and then the laughter comes. it's almost out-of-body sometimes. like i'm floating up on the ceiling, looking down at me...and it just makes me laugh out loud. what a goof. of course i have what i need. of course i'll eat. of course there will be more. why wouldn't there be? it's always been there before. so what's the freakin' problem????
when that kind of stuff roars thru my head, it only takes a few moments for me to catch myself. more often than not, it's the anger that stops the fear. and of course, fear is the source of that anger. hmmmmmmmmmmm. what came first, the chicken or the egg? guess it depends on whether you believe in the whole 'adam & eve' story or the theory of evolution story. me thinks the latter. so, of course, the chicken came first. ha! i'll take the chicken over the egg any day. i'll also take anger over fear, because anger motivates me. fear paralizes me. no contest.
being able to laugh at it is about as inspiring as waking up to a glorious sunrise. it makes my heart sing again. it makes me look at the puny human part & remember that there's so much more to ME. it ain't about the vessel, baby. it's about what's inside that vessel. i'm certain there's a wealth of magick here. i'm also certain that the moment i let go of all that other crap is the moment when everything flows like melted chocolate. easy. yummy. delicious.
so today i shall remember the chocolate & let go the oars. today i shall use my inner vision rather than my human eyes. today i shall laugh at those stupid demons & tell 'em to hit the freakin' road. you're not wanted here. you are sooooooooo not welcome here. so get the f#!*k out!