Monday, January 26, 2009

forget the "how"

oh brother. here we go again. every time i think i got it figured out, the whole thing changes again. sheesh! well, today i got woken up by one of the dawgs whining incessantly. he just wouldn't stop. it was echoing up the stairwell and into my space so i got out of bed and closed the door. nope. that didn't do it. finally, after about half an hour of this, i decided that maybe the little guy needed to go out. so i got up, threw on my warmest robe and went downstairs. looked at the clock...4:10 a.m.! sheeeeesh! but when i opened the door, that puppy flew out so fast i felt really badly about having made him wait. poor thing.

so, i'm up & wide awake, and now it's only 4:15...made some java & came back upstairs to my office. the moment i sat down, all the "how" questions started. "how am i gonna pay for this?" and "how am i gonna pay for that?" and "how......"

for 3 minutes, i allowed all those stupid hows to run thru my early morning brain. and then....STOP! JUST STOP! i looked up at one of my fave quotes that hangs on my cork board right over my desk and read these words:

"asking "how" is pure, unadulterated, low energy, health zapping, fun squeezing, party-pooping DOUBT. You said, "WOW!", right?"

and that was it. that was my ticket to moving on. WOW. that's all i haveta say. because when it comes right down to it, the hows are NOT my job. the hows are up to Source. MY job is to just be in this moment, doing what i love, with what i have, with all my heart. living each moment with the unwavering trust that Source ALWAYS provides...regardless of what "seems" to be happening. using my eyes to see is about as limiting as using a paper napkin to stay warm. it's just silly. the things that i "see" are not all there is. it's so much bigger than that. it's so much more than that. so how come i'm always slipping back into that "how"?

i'm guessing that it's just an old habit. i'm guessing that the conditioning i've had for all these many years is probably going to take more than a day to un-condition. i'm guessing that the less i wonder 'how', the more i'll cut it loose. all this, of course, remains to be seen (ooops. there i go again!) not despair! i'm gonna walk around all day with my eyes closed.

and if you can get a clear image of that, then i'd say you're one up on the hows!

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