It is entirely possible that the 'reason' for my prolonged absences is as simple as the absence itself; namely, the slow, gradual, but quite steady return to Intuition. In light of this, and in addition to the far-too-many apologies (for my absence on this Blog), I have also come to realize that by apologizing, rather than owning the journey/transition/evolution, I have undermined, in a very large way, all those aforementioned possibilities (that would be "journey/transition/evolution"). Also...I have spent far too much time worrying over my beloved readers in lieu of my own evolution. NOT acceptable. NOT productive. And MOST CERTAINLY NOT beneficial to anyone, myself included.
Having said all that, I suppose it would be a good idea to go back to the beginning.
(A fun little "aside": In the movie "The Princess Bride", my very favorite character, Inigo Montoya, is found in great despair by his former friend, Fezzik. Inigo is quite drunk and seems to be completely incoherent when Fezzik finds him (to toss him into jail, as ordered by the evil Prince Humperdinck). When Inigo sees Fezzik, even in his drunken stupor, he says, "BACK TO THE BEGINNING. VIZZINI SAID TO GO BACK TO THE BEGINNING!" And so, the Gentle Giant that is Fezzik, helps his friend "go back to the beginning". For those of you who've never seen this movie, I strongly urge you to take two hours...and watch it. It is one of the very best fairy tales of our time. I do not kid.) End of Aside.
Anywayz....
One of the wonderful things about making mindful choices is that one comes to see, a bit more clearly, just how much of an impact we can have on the world; that is, if we will first take care of ourselves. Having been a life-long "people-pleaser", it never occurred to me that I was really short-changing everyone by not first nourishing myself. How could I possibly give the best of me when the best of me wasn't available? How could I ever expect to share what I did not have? And most importantly, what would I do now to change what did not please me?
As my Odyssey continued, I began to see these questions in full view. I began to realize that by wanting so dearly to reach people, I was actually pushing them away. I also began to see that the whole Blog thing was as much about ego as it was about my desire to help. And let me tell you, Ego is one hell of a powerful force, especially when it is so clever at concealing itself. I, like so many others, had managed to intellectualize myself right out of Intuition. When this particular realization came to light, I was as shocked as I was saddened. After all, it was I who wrote the book {"Whispers". WHAT? YOU MEAN YOU STILL HAVEN'T READ IT???} and I who insisted that Intuition was the quintessential road map to the Self.
Talk about a bummer.
But here's the thing. No matter who you are or where you are on your Path, the most important thing to note is that YOU and only you are in charge of walking that path, changing direction, stopping, slowing down, speeding up, or plain ol' rewriting the map. In other words: it is YOUR Odyssey so live it as you wish.
Let's back up for a second. Let us have a look at the word "odyssey", shall we? According to MW, an odyssey is "a long series of wanderings or adventures, especially when filled with notable experiences, hardships, etc."
I like the word, as it seems quite appropriate to what has been the last {nearly} six years of my Life. To describe it as "bad" or "hard" or "awful" would be an enormous mistake. {Although, if you were on the outside looking in, you might describe it as such...or worse. So would I have whence it first began. But things change. Praise AllahLaLaLa!} Because the truth is, had it not been for this "odyssey", I dare say I'd not have learnt what I have learnt or become who I am/have become. I'd likely have gone on in the numb, mindless way I had been living theretofore, and not been aware of all that I was missing. Worse, I might also have left the Planet far too early. Of course, we can't really say for sure about any of that. But that leads me right back to the Beginning: Intuition.
There will almost certainly be trials along the way. If you were to give that some thought, you might find that the trials are precisely what make the Path so interesting. That is, if you were mindful and calm enough to see the trials as just that and nothing more. Little bumps along the way. Little sign posts. Little blessings. Which leads us to yet another loveliness: Perspective.
Perspective is as powerful as gratitude. Perspective changes a nightmare into a dark dream that shows you to the light. Perspective can make all the Ick more bearable, more useful, more More. In fact, were you to tweak your Perspective to the Nth degree, you might just find yourself deleting the words "can't", "should", "sorry", "regretfully" (and a host of other words/emotions that really do not serve you) completely from your vocabulary. 'Course, you don't have to take my word for it. But it might be a fun little game you could play for a while. Change your Perspective and see what else changes.
To be sure, I am not the first person to come up with that one. The Wise Ones have been telling us this for eons. Problem is, most of us are either too engrossed in our mindless, soul-crushing ruts that we don't give a moment's notice, or we just don't give a rip anymore. This too is a very sad truth for so many beautiful souls. But time marches on...and so does our evolution, whether we like it or not. So...the trick then would be to ENJOY the process rather than drag our sad, sorry asses through it, kicking and screaming and wondering why "Life sucks".
Doncha think?
Alrighty then. I suppose here would be a good place to take a breath...and save some for another day.
Now it's your turn.
Having said all that, I suppose it would be a good idea to go back to the beginning.
(A fun little "aside": In the movie "The Princess Bride", my very favorite character, Inigo Montoya, is found in great despair by his former friend, Fezzik. Inigo is quite drunk and seems to be completely incoherent when Fezzik finds him (to toss him into jail, as ordered by the evil Prince Humperdinck). When Inigo sees Fezzik, even in his drunken stupor, he says, "BACK TO THE BEGINNING. VIZZINI SAID TO GO BACK TO THE BEGINNING!" And so, the Gentle Giant that is Fezzik, helps his friend "go back to the beginning". For those of you who've never seen this movie, I strongly urge you to take two hours...and watch it. It is one of the very best fairy tales of our time. I do not kid.) End of Aside.
Anywayz....
One of the wonderful things about making mindful choices is that one comes to see, a bit more clearly, just how much of an impact we can have on the world; that is, if we will first take care of ourselves. Having been a life-long "people-pleaser", it never occurred to me that I was really short-changing everyone by not first nourishing myself. How could I possibly give the best of me when the best of me wasn't available? How could I ever expect to share what I did not have? And most importantly, what would I do now to change what did not please me?
As my Odyssey continued, I began to see these questions in full view. I began to realize that by wanting so dearly to reach people, I was actually pushing them away. I also began to see that the whole Blog thing was as much about ego as it was about my desire to help. And let me tell you, Ego is one hell of a powerful force, especially when it is so clever at concealing itself. I, like so many others, had managed to intellectualize myself right out of Intuition. When this particular realization came to light, I was as shocked as I was saddened. After all, it was I who wrote the book {"Whispers". WHAT? YOU MEAN YOU STILL HAVEN'T READ IT???} and I who insisted that Intuition was the quintessential road map to the Self.
Talk about a bummer.
But here's the thing. No matter who you are or where you are on your Path, the most important thing to note is that YOU and only you are in charge of walking that path, changing direction, stopping, slowing down, speeding up, or plain ol' rewriting the map. In other words: it is YOUR Odyssey so live it as you wish.
Let's back up for a second. Let us have a look at the word "odyssey", shall we? According to MW, an odyssey is "a long series of wanderings or adventures, especially when filled with notable experiences, hardships, etc."
I like the word, as it seems quite appropriate to what has been the last {nearly} six years of my Life. To describe it as "bad" or "hard" or "awful" would be an enormous mistake. {Although, if you were on the outside looking in, you might describe it as such...or worse. So would I have whence it first began. But things change. Praise AllahLaLaLa!} Because the truth is, had it not been for this "odyssey", I dare say I'd not have learnt what I have learnt or become who I am/have become. I'd likely have gone on in the numb, mindless way I had been living theretofore, and not been aware of all that I was missing. Worse, I might also have left the Planet far too early. Of course, we can't really say for sure about any of that. But that leads me right back to the Beginning: Intuition.
There will almost certainly be trials along the way. If you were to give that some thought, you might find that the trials are precisely what make the Path so interesting. That is, if you were mindful and calm enough to see the trials as just that and nothing more. Little bumps along the way. Little sign posts. Little blessings. Which leads us to yet another loveliness: Perspective.
Perspective is as powerful as gratitude. Perspective changes a nightmare into a dark dream that shows you to the light. Perspective can make all the Ick more bearable, more useful, more More. In fact, were you to tweak your Perspective to the Nth degree, you might just find yourself deleting the words "can't", "should", "sorry", "regretfully" (and a host of other words/emotions that really do not serve you) completely from your vocabulary. 'Course, you don't have to take my word for it. But it might be a fun little game you could play for a while. Change your Perspective and see what else changes.
To be sure, I am not the first person to come up with that one. The Wise Ones have been telling us this for eons. Problem is, most of us are either too engrossed in our mindless, soul-crushing ruts that we don't give a moment's notice, or we just don't give a rip anymore. This too is a very sad truth for so many beautiful souls. But time marches on...and so does our evolution, whether we like it or not. So...the trick then would be to ENJOY the process rather than drag our sad, sorry asses through it, kicking and screaming and wondering why "Life sucks".
Doncha think?
Alrighty then. I suppose here would be a good place to take a breath...and save some for another day.
Now it's your turn.
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