Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Minimum daily requirement: 16 hugs

I once read that people need a minimum of 16 hugs per day. I don't recall where I read it, but I do remember that when I did, it made me giggle. Where'd they come up with that number? What if somebody only got 15? Or {heaven forbid!!!} NONE? What would happen to them?

Don't laugh. {Well, okay. Laugh if you want. I guess it sounds kinda funny to some of you.}

I got to thinking about this today and found myself giggling over how my brain works. Like, where does this stuff come from anyway??? It was about 3 seconds after I opened my eyes and I was lying there listening to Bruzer snoring. I felt that familiar grin slide onto my face as I laid there stretching my arms and waiting for my brain to kick in. That's when the thought popped in.

Hey! You're not getting your minimum daily requirement of hugs! You better fix that!

First off, let me just say that most often I don't really see it as any kind of 'issue'. Just because I don't get 16 hugs a day from people doesn't mean I don't get them. My puppy gives me way more than 16 a day. Fact is, if I'd allow it, he'd do nothing but hug and kiss and love on me all day long. It seems to be his reason for living. Which is a BEAUTIFUL thang. But I have other stuff to do too. So we have to limit our hug time to a few minutes per hour. He tolerates these limits. But I think he'd be happier if it were open season on hugs. Know what I mean?


I was lying there thinking about that article and the 16 hugs a day thing, when another thought came rushing in. What about those people who never get hugs? The ones who don't even hug their kids or their mamas? What about them? Do they miss the hugs? Does it impact them to not have that physical contact? Do they die younger than people who get lots and lots of hugs?

{Yes. I know. I have very odd triggers. What can I say? It's just how my brain works.}

I suppose one of the things that might have inspired these thoughts was a recent visit of The Roommate's family. The whole gang was here for a week. Mom, daughter, son, son's girlfriend and brother. During the entire time they were here, I never saw any one of them touch any other. Not once. Their dynamic is the complete opposite of my family's. We are a very touchy-feely clan. It would be unthinkable for any of us to walk into the house and not hug. Unthinkable. And it's not just hugs. When we talk, we are always woppin' each other on the leg or arm; we use our hands, we must have physical contact. It's just the nature of the Italiana beast. And it's something I love about us. We touch.

But these folks keep their distance. I mean that literally. It's just the weirdest thing to me. I thought, at first, that maybe it was my imagination. Or that they just didn't "do it" in front of other people.


They just don't touch each other. Ever.

Now I must step aside for a moment to say: I am not judging them for it. I'm not saying they love each other any less or that they are horrible people for not hugging. Not saying any of that. So they don't hug each other. This doesn't make them "bad" people.

But's just weird to me. I can't imagine what it would be like to go a lifetime without hugs. I'm pretty sure I'd be some kinda homicidal maniac if I had to go without hugs. I'd be shooting people left and right til somebody gave me a hug. {'Course, the likelihood of getting a hug when you've got a gun in your hand is pretty slim.} You get the point; I am a hugger. And people who don't hug are just strange to me.

I'm just sayin'.


Bella Mia said...

Camille - I received your book in the mail today and read it tonight. It is so very sweet and good. I resonated with a lot of it. I've heard the Whisperings in different ways than you, yet as with you, they have moved me toward more clarity and love in my life.

Thank you for sharing.

Luv, Sheila

Bodaciousboomer said...

Boy does that sound like a great idea. Right now hugs are few and far between here. Clenched teeth however are in great abundance.:)