Tuesday, February 22, 2011

how does your attitude affect your wellness?

Do you suppose there is any correlation between wellness and attitude? Do you think that people who maintain a happy attitude toward Life in general are less prone to illness than those who lean toward pessimism? What if our optimism has a direct impact on our physical wellness?

I ask these questions today because more and more it seems that these things are true. It seems that those who are constantly whining, complaining, worrying, fussing are more prone to malady than those who take everything lightly. It seems quite obvious to me, and I'm not talking 'science' either. I'm talking observation. I see it often, so it makes me wonder just how much of it is 'true'.

I have a friend who is always complaining. She likes to think she's a 'positive person' but the truth is she's as far from positive as she can get. Every time I talk to her she has something to bitch about...and she spends a good long while doing it. Usually until I cut her off or change the subject abruptly. We've had conversations about the 'power' of living with a positive perspective, and she says she believes in "all that", but I rarely observe her exercising said perspective. If it's not her job it's her apartment or her neighbors or the traffic in the city or the high cost of everything. Her car is broken down. Her hair is a fright. Her husband is a drunk. On and on and on she goes, never really seeing that the big, black cloud that hangs over her Life is there because she put it there.

So it is no small surprise that she's always sick. The latest is a respiratory infection. Right before that it was a sinus infection. Before that it was some kind of stomach thing. Her skin is always in a rash. She doesn't sleep well. She's always tired. Blah, blah, blah, blahhhhh.

If I were her, I'd just shoot myself and get it over with. I just don't understand how anyone could possibly wish to live under those circumstances. I mean, what's the freakin' point???

The last time we spoke, I asked her if she thought that perhaps she might just need an attitude adjustment instead of a whole-life overhaul. Instead of high-tailing it to some "new place", why not just stay where you are and get a "new place" in your mind? Why go through all the trouble of packing and moving and starting over (for the 10th time in 5 years!)? Because, I told her, near as I can tell it isn't going to matter where you go. Wherever you go, there YOU will be. It isn't about your location, Dearest. It's about your perspective.

She told me that she was tired of the cold and the rain and the constant uncertainty. I asked why she thought it would be different in a new city. She said, "I don't know. I just think I need a change."

Oh yea ya do.

A change of heart, perhaps?

I feel badly for people who do this to themselves. It's funny (not ha-ha funny) that they don't see the connection. It's funny that they do all kindsa stuff to 'be well', like working out and eating right and not smoking/drinking/etc., yet they are always sick.

Gee. Ya think there's a glitch here?

I do realize that everyone evolves in their own time at their own pace. I also realize that it isn't up to me to school them on the 'error' of their ways. Because who the hell am I to say they're "wrong"? It isn't my job to judge or even suggest they might like to choose another path.

Still...it puzzles me. And I care. And I want everyone to be happy and well.

As I am fond of saying: Joy is a CHOICE. So perhaps the point I'm not seeing here is that she and all those who follow suit are making their choices because there is something they want to learn. Perhaps my perspective on all things Joy is a bit much for them. Perhaps it really is none of my business how they choose to think, live, be. I suppose the only thing I can do without interfering is just love them anyway. Love them while they make the choices that seem so destructive. Love them regardless of what they choose.

Isn't that what matters most?


Connie Baum said...

This is patently obvious to you and me but there are still folks out there who get some kind of pay off for their stinkin' thinkin'.

Personally, I think Joyz more FUN.

Mother Connie

Bella Mia said...

you are definitely on the right track...here's a prayer from Mother Theresa:

Love Them Anyway

People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Be good anyway.
Honesty and frankness will make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People need help, but may attack you if you try to help them.
Help them anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.