arms wide open

the whole trust thing...man! ya keep showin' up for your life. you do your work. you take care of your self. the meditations and exercise, good food, little acts of kindness every day. smiles to strangers. forgiveness. laughter. givin' your all for the greater good. the whole she-bang. so where's the dang flow? how come it's not here? the first of the month...again..and GEEZ...where's the freakin' rent? i swear, sometimes it's enough to make a person crazy.

got up this morning and was all stiff and icky. lots of "ouch". still, just couldn't see how it was gonna do me any good to dwell. so i thought, "ya know, you just gotta be persistent. quit worryin', ya knucklehead. it's gonna show up. it's gonna show up."

off to the kitchen and some coffee. looked outside and saw a red tailed hawk doing her dance in the sky. sailing around on the currents, like poetry in motion. dawgs all happy to see me. cat doin' her chatty thing she does, following me around the kitchen, just talkin' away. silly girl. love that kitty. love those dawgs. love the view...and the hawks and the wind and all the pretty flowers.

got to thinking about that word: flowers. it struck me that if you hyphenate it..."flow-ers"....that's EXACTLY what they are. stunning, breath-taking FLOW-ERS of Life. how cool is that? (yea. my brain does weird stuff like that). anyway, the more i thought about that, and how i'm always bringing them inside and putting them all over my house...so i can see them and smell them and touch them...well, the flow-ers just make me happy to be alive. marvelous reminders of just how easy it's supposed to be. just flow, camille. just flow.

didn't take long before i was back to all that groovy stuff. just lookin' around at all that i DO have...and all the beauty that is my world. how can ya be so short-sighted? what's the deal? just flow, you beautiful little imp. doesn't it always take care of itself? the flow-ers don't 'worry'. neither do the critters. worry? why? it sho' don't fix things, ya know?

so now...i'm gonna hold on to that. gonna keep my arms wide open. gonna trust. cuz i have to believe that it's all okay. it's all gonna work out. it's all for some grand purpose i have no clue about. who knows? maybe, just maybe, it's so i remember just how much i matter. (thanks, terri!) i matter to all those critters and to the people who love me and to the world that hasn't even 'met' me yet. cuz one of these days, all this is gonna be a 'memory'...and i'm gonna be doing for others what others do for me. hey! wait. i'm doing that NOW!

haaaaaaaaaaa! life is a TRIP!