it just gets easier all the time. the whole 'going with the flow' thang. it's just so much fun! the more i stay at ease, the more things flow right to me. amazing. the coolest thing? it really only just takes a little practice. little tiny things that soon add up to really 'visible' manifestations. and it's NOT hard. it's not even close to hard. it's as easy as brushing your teeth! honest!
how'd it get this way? hmmmmmm. let's see. about 2 years ago, when my world got turned upside down, i had to find a new way of looking at things. i had to because i was on the verge of dying. and i'm not exaggerating here. i really thought i was going to die. and, at certain moments, i really wanted to. yea. it was that awful.
one day, after talking to my sage for an hour or so, i realized just how much of an impact my choosing to leave the planet would have on those who love me. she made it perfectly clear to me. and, while i was in agony, i certainly didn't want to cause any to those i love. it was really that simple. i didn't want anyone to hurt on account of my own choice to leave. so...i made the choice, right then, to stay. to do whatever i had to do to make it through this horrible experience. i stopped looking at it from a victim's eyes, and began to look at it as a gift. the universe was giving me an opportunity of some kind, and even though i wasn't quite sure what that opportunity was, i knew, somehow, it was there for me to grow from.
thus began the shift. the shift from victim to creator. the shift from feeling powerless to feeling empowered. no. it wasn't an easy ride at first, but i stayed the course and just kept showing up for my life. i kept doing the little things i was led to do in order to keep the pain at bay and move onward. i just kept believing that the horrors i was dealing with would pass...and there would be some kind of joy at the end of that road.
i was correct. as long as it seemed to take at first, it really has flown by. the past 2 years have been the most incredible, growth expanding years of my life. and you know what else? now there are people who actually ask ME how i did it. imagine that. crazy, huh? people from all over the planet actually write to me with their heartfelt questions. they're looking for a way to ease their own pain and move into joy. and for whatever reason, they're finding me to help them along. i can't even begin to tell you how that makes me feel. it is one of THE most amazing gifts i've ever been given. it's as inspiring as it is humbling.
today, i am deeply grateful. i am full of appreciation for having chosen this path.
today, i am filled with joy knowing that my choices have led me to this place.
today, i AM joy.