Six Years With An Angel

It was six years ago today that Sophie and I met. It had been four days since Bruzer's passing and I was a complete mess. I couldn't stop sobbing. I couldn't eat or sleep or think. A "mess" is a vast understatement. But then, on the morning of the 26th of April, I got up and decided that I would not torture myself a moment longer. After a bit of research (Humane Society) I took off for the coast.

The moment I saw her I thought, "Ohhhhh! I hope she picks me!" Because in my heart I KNOW that it is they who choose us. NOT the other way around. She was in her very large kennel with her "roommate" and a woman who was sitting on the floor giving them cookies. I didn't think I stood a chance. When given the choice between a cookie and a stranger, what would YOU choose?

I watched for a few minutes, just taking it all in. The woman finally saw me standing there and asked would I like to meet one of them. I told her yes I would but after they got their treats. She said that they'd had enough; then she said "which pup would you like to meet?"

I pointed to Sophie (who, by the way, had been named "Silver Lining". What the hell??? What kind of name is THAT for a Dog?!). She put Sophie on a leash and walked her out of the kennel, gave me a handful of treats and handed her over. We then walked to an enclosure that had artificial turf and a bench on either end. She told me to spend as much time as I liked and when I'd made up my mind, to walk her into the lobby.

Being the smart puppy she is, she'd seen me put those little treats in my pocket and knew they were for her. She didn't make one bit of fuss as we walked into the enclosure. I sat down on one of the benches and asked her to "SIT". She looked at me with a blank stare, wagging her tail, waiting for a treat. I had to giggle. Cutest face EVER!

I spent about half an hour with her and then asked if she wanted to come home with me. By that time all the cookies were gone and still she followed me from one end to the other. I asked again. She wagged her tail and walked to the gate. I had my answer.

It's about an hour's drive from that shelter to our home. She rode the whole way with one paw on my leg. I was laughing and crying simultaneously. Mostly because I just KNEW that my Bruzer had a hand in the whole affair. Also because I could feel my heart healing as we drove.

From the moment she walked through the door, she was home. I knew it. She knew it. And I like to think Bruzer knew it too. She did not erase the pain of losing him, she merely made it more bearable for me. Hers was a sketchy past. Someone had found her living on the streets of El Centro, pregnant and filthy and starving. How she ended up on the coast is a mystery. One thing is certain: she was on her way to ME.

There isn't a day that passes that I don't thank her for coming to live with me. Each morning I sing her a song that says so. And she wags her tail and gives me kisses and I know she's grateful too.

Living with an Angel is about as good as it gets.

Sophie chose Joy.
Me too. 

Pavo Art

This is Il Paveno (The Peacock).

Pavo graces us with his magnificent presence here on our Path. He enjoys lounging right outside my back door, near to the house for extra attention. He gets it any time he wants.

He loves to come to our door and open up that spectacular plumage and do this little twirly dance. He does it so I'll go out there and just BE with him. He is quite the entertainer.

{I tried to load one of those videos....to no avail. Still got some learnin' to do!}

His gifts are plentiful. Each year, at the end of mating season, he drops all those gorgeous feathers for me (and others) to find strewn all 'round the property. It usually happens near Summer's end. For me, it's like Christmas in August. I never tire of finding them. I still clap my hands and do my Happy Dance.

And thank him profusely.

You could say that I'm his biggest fan.

In addition to his beauty, he also serves as Protector to me and Sophie. He sleeps on our roof and will scream bloody murder should he hear something that's "not right". Each evening, before I turn in, I walk outside to wish him Good Night and thank him for his service.

Every single night.

For the past seven years.

Yes. I'm serious.

Peacocks are as noisy as they are beautiful. But ONLY during mating season. For about six months, the racket is loud enough to be heard from miles away. NOT exaggerating here. I'm sure it's so that all the Peahens can hear him. Alas, none has come to answer his calls. Poor guy. As for me...well, I love the "noise". Even at three in the morning. It wakes me up...and then the giggles ensue. It just tickles me.

What can I say? I AM his biggest fan.

Along with the beauty and the noise, Peacocks can also be quite messy. If you walk 'round here barefoot you're bound to wind up with Peacock Poop on yer feet. Sophie LOVES to roll in it. NOT something that amuses me. It stinks (and so does she) to the high heavens; if she comes in with it on her she is IMMEDIATELY dragged to the sink where she is rinsed off in cold water. It's my passive/aggressive way of scolding her. She is well aware that I hate it when she does it, but she does it anyway.

Stubborn little Scamp!

And then there's the Peacock Pee. It shows up as white blotches on the pavers or the deck. It's not as stinky as the Poop, but messy all the same. You can see the mess it makes on the roof tiles (in the photo above). And when it cakes up enough, it falls off the roof onto the deck where Sophie will snatch it up like some yummy little Peacock Pee Snack. Disgusting! I usually take a broom to the deck to thwart her snacking but sometimes she's too quick for me.

Anywayzzzz...

Yesterday afternoon, on a mission to clean up some of the mess, I opened the front door to find this:

(don't confuse the dark shade spots with the white pee splotches)

I stood there for a moment, staring at it and wondering why it bugs me so much. I mean...it's NOT Poop. It doesn't stink. So what if it's a big splotch on the brick?

And then it hit me.

PEACOCK ART!!! 

He's a Master of all things beautiful, isn't he? Why shouldn't his droppings be artful too?

I grabbed my box of sidewalk chalk and went to work. I giggled my ass off the whole time. I kept thinking about how there are SOOOOO many people who pay ridiculous amounts of money for "art" that I see as NOT art. I marvel at what some folks see. I wonder why they spend their money on "art" that often looks like a two-year-old made it. It's such a mystery to me. I thought all these things as I played with the shapes of his droppings. And then...I stepped back to look at his "work".

If there's anything to be had here it is that even Peacock Pee can turn into JOY. 

Because...

it's ALWAYS a CHOICE.

...this, too, shall pass

Hello My People ~

Today seems a good day to speak a bit about endurance.

By definition, the word "endurance" means:

1. The fact or power of enduring an unpleasant or difficult process or situation without giving way.

I speak of this now because if you are a Human you will, no doubt, have moments (or days or weeks...) when you think you simply aren't going to make it. Something of such great force is going to test you to your very limits. You may experience these moments in the form of heartbreak or grief or intense and unyielding pain, in doses so huge that it will shake you to your very core.

I know this because I have.

Yesterday was one such day.

When I woke up from a not-so-restful slumber, my entire body was at DefCon TEN. That is to say, I could NOT move. Literally. It was so intense that all I could do was lie there and try my very best to BREATHE until I was able to move. I called to my puppy so she'd come lie next to me. I find great comfort in her close to me. Also, she always knows when I'm in distress. She lies there next to me, giving me the occasional kisses, and simply BE with me.

It helps.

It took nearly an hour before I could get out of bed and make my way to the bathroom. The only word that can describe what it may have looked like is "frozen". As if my entire body was made of shards of ice. And trying to walk was like having those shards cut me into a million pieces with each step.

NOT fun.

As I made my way to the bathroom, I asked any and every Entity that might be lookin' out for me to PLEASE stay close. PLEASE don't let me fall or crash to the floor. PLEASE, for ALLTHATISGOOD, HELP ME.

They must've been listening. I made it to the bathroom, and back to my bed where I spent the ENTIRE day. The only time I got up was to let the Puppy out/in, feed her, and pour myself more water. Eating was out of the question. So was our daily walk.

Like I said: NOT fun.

Strangely enough, though, I didn't panic. Somewhere inside me I knew that this, too, would pass. I would be able to resume some semblance of normalcy if I could just stay calm and let my body do whatever it was trying to do. I have no idea what that was. But I trusted it and kept breathing deeply all through the day, into the evening, right into sleep again.

I slept much better last night and when I awoke this morning I knew the moment had passed. I knew I'd be able to get up and not have to endure that ungodly pain. I knew I had "made it".

Now, just to clarify here, I'm not sharing these unhappy moments with you so that you'll feel badly for me or about any of this. Rather, I'm sharing because I know I'm not the only one who deals with such things. I KNOW there are millions of people on this Planet who must also endure their own kinds of pain. And I know that many of those people may not be equipped to deal.

So it is for YOU, my Fellow Humans, I share this story so that you might remember that, no matter WHAT you're going through...no matter how horrible or excruciating or utterly defeated you may be feeling,

THIS, TOO, SHALL PASS.

You will rise up again, like the proverbial Phoenix, and get to start anew.
You will find Joy again.
You will find Ease again.
You will get on with your beautiful Life again, all the stronger for having endured your challenges.

You can count on it.

And yes, I still believe...

Joy is a CHOICE.

{"In the Arms of Love", Mixed media art by C.Olivia Strate}