little reminders...

tis the season...for food and fun and family and friends. not that it shouldn't be 'the season' for those things year 'round...but for whatever reason, lots of folks don't do the year 'round thing. no matter. to each his own and all that jazz. i'm not here to tell you about how you "should" do anything. your life. your choices. i AM here, however, to light the lights that may have dimmed (or gone out completely) so that you may have more twinklings in your world. that's my job. it's why i write what i write. and so...

since the holidays are just 'round the corner and i know tons of folks who tend to get all stressed out this time of year, i thought it might be a good time to offer up some little reminders. just so you can enJOY yourself more and maybe even git rid of the stressful part once and for all.

whaddya think? you game?

well then, here are a few things that always keep me in the spirit of the season and really have worked for years. i'll be the first to admit that i truly am a kid at christmas time. and even though i'm not what folks label "christian", i do honor the winter holiday just like other folks do. truth be told, i DO believe in santa claus (oh. i'll bet that's a big surprise.) and i also happen to believe that the winter holidays are a terrific time to honor all things living. just because lots of those living things are having their seasonal nap doesn't mean we can't honor them. they're only sleeping, not dying. so we can celebrate their presence as they sleep. kinda like when new parents look at their sleeping babies after they themselves have not slept in days (or weeks?!). they gaze lovingly at their babes and sigh with deep love for the beauty before them. they can often be heard muttering soft words to those sleeping babies, telling them just how much they are loved. you know what i'm talking about. you've probably either done it or witnessed it yourself, right? okay then. kinda like that..only different.

moving on...

if you happen to be one of those freaks who actually shops year round, you're not likely to be nearly as stressed as those who don't. (i AM one of those freaks, so by the time Thanksgiving rolls around i usually only have one or two gifts left to find. what can i say? it's a way for me to carry the season all year long. AND it keeps me from having to deal with so many cranky pants when shopping season rolls 'round.) so if you have a ton of stuff to buy and you're thinking how awful the whole task is going to be, take a step back. before you do any of that, take some time with yourself and do the list thing. (why do you think santa checks twice?!). lists are a terrific way to minimize stress and maximize time. let's face it: nobody gets any extra minutes in a day. we ALL have 1440 of them so don't think you're getting cheated. those people who insist on cutting in front of you or dashing around like crazy loons are just being inconsiderate. there are plenty of those kinda folks but we don't have to let them ruin the party. here's how i do it:

first i make a list of all the stuff i might need to buy. gifts, cards, food, drink, paper, trinkets, decorations, etc. next i prioritize. what do i need first? what can wait? how much of what i need can i buy online? who am i inviting to the party? how soon do i need to get those invites out? i sit with my holiday music playing and a glass of wine by my side and put on my reindeer antlers (they even light up! so fun!!!) and get all my stuff in order.

next i tackle the cleaning part. now, being as how i'm a neat freak anyway, there's usually not much to do in that arena. it normally only takes me a couple of hours at most. once finished, i'm ready to roll. i'm a big fan of lights and decorations, so i make that task #2. but it's not a "task" at all. it's just fun to do. music playing and boxes spread out all over the place, i carefully choose what's going where and let the fun begin. gotta have my decor right before it really feels like the season. that's just me. i keep this really beautiful tree in my living room all year long. it's one of those that looks like a tree from Yosemite. it's got three separate trunks, with each tree a different height. they're all mounted on a round steel plate and the tallest tree reaches about 8 feet. it's the COOLEST tree ever. i change the ornaments with each season. so it's not really a "christmas tree". it's an "all the year long" tree. saves me from having to mess with the whole finding a tree thing and then the lights and all the rest. all i have to do is change the ornaments and i'm done. very cool indeed.

okay. so now the house is clean and the decorating is done and next comes the shopping for whatever gifts i haven't yet found. before i go out into the scary retail world, i ALWAYS have a glass of wine first (geez. i'm sounding like a little wino here, huh?) but really...a little sip or two isn't going to have me driving drunk and it IS going to calm my nerves enough to brave the crabby shoppers i may encounter. bless their pea-pickin' hearts. i always wear festive clothing and either my santa hat OR my antlers (i really do this. NOT kidding. makes me giggle from the moment i put them on all the way til i get back home. it's a HOOT.) once i'm all dressed and ready to roll, i pop in some festive music and toodle my way to whatever retailers i'm going to shop. i take my time. i sing. i smile a lot. (especially at the cranky pants. they need it the most!) i let people get in front of me in line. i let people move into my lane if they're needing to get over. i say 'happy holidays' to anyone who meets my eye. in short, i make it a big ol' party. and yes. it works. even those cranky pants can't help but smile back (sometimes it looks painful for them, but at least they're tryin', ya know?)

once i've got all my gifts purchased (no matter when I bought them), i have myself another party. i set a night aside just to wrap the gifts. i LOVE wrapping gifts. i get all into the whole creative thing and make a huge mess with papers and ribbons and glue guns and such and just have a blast making all those gifts look delicious. yep. fun stuff (for me, anyway). then they all go under the tree and i'm DONE.

so what's left? cards to mail out...that's pretty easy and doesn't really take all that long to do. i try to get them out right after Thanksgiving, but sometimes that doesn't happen. i've been known (in years past) to send them AFTER christmas. so what? when i was growing up, my mom said the holiday wasn't really over until after January 6th; that's what they called "little christmas" in my family. had something to do with some Italian tradition. let's skip that for now. it's not really relevant. the point is, it doesn't even matter if you don't send ANY cards. it's not about cards or gifts. it's about spending time with those you love. not everyone has the means to buy gifts or cards. and trust me when i say, i've been there too. it wasn't fun (for me) but it sure did teach me a lesson. being with those people i love most in the world is more important than anything else. this is even more acutely felt if you've lost a loved one. it's taken me almost 25 years to get over the fact that my parents won't be joining us. it still sucks. BUT it also makes me more appreciative of those who ARE still here. 'nuff said.

for all the rambling here, the point i've been attempting to impress is this:

IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE FUN!

all of Life is supposed to be fun, but for some reason we get all "adult" about stuff and it takes all the fun away. STOP DOING THAT! if you happen to be one of those who was blessed with many wonderful childhood memories, then call that stuff back up and live it again. if you were not, then MAKE YOUR OWN. you can do it. i promise it's not all that hard. AND if you get stuck, there are tons of movies that can help you get the feeling. besides the classics like "It's a Wonderful Life" or "White Christmas", there's one that really knocks my socks off. "The Santa Claus" with Tim Allen. just LOVE that movie. it always makes me grin like a cheshire and the feeling stays with me for a long time. anyway...

i'm sending you tons of cheer and arms-around-ya love. i'm hoping you will make your holiday season as fun and memorable as you've always wanted. and i hope santa is good to you.

p.s. don't forget the milk and cookies.

p.s.s. while i don't normally "plug" my own stuff, this is one exception. my book "Whispers~The Often Subtle Sometimes Rowdy Voice of Truth" is available at Amazon.com. It's only $11.95 and makes a great stocking stuffer. AND it's a really terrific little book! really!

"just" another day????

It always cracks me up when I hear this phrase: "it's just another day". It epitomizes just how little some folks value the gift of another day. I'm guessing that were those same people to have some kind of terminal dis-ease, they'd change their attitude zippity-quick. I'm guessing that these very same people are the ones who rarely (if ever) take time to smell the roses or watch a sunrise or listen to children laughing in the park. The ones who dash around in a frenzy, and then wonder why they're so miserably exhausted. So sad.

As many who read here know, I tend to touch on gratitude often. It is a main-stay in both my writings and my life. It is my grace. I believe gratitude, true appreciation for our gifts, blessings, love, etc., is the most powerful remedy for all that ails you. It is through my own experiences with (feelings of) gratitude that some of the most exquisite miracles have occurred in my life. Gratitude has swept me out of pain into ease. It has turned fear into hope. Tears to laughter. Misery to joy. Gratitude is the Ultimate Elixir.

Just the other day I had an experience that reminded me, once more, just how hard gratitude is for some. A friend of mine, who wields guilt like a sword, called to chastise me for a birthday gift I'd left for him. It wasn't anything huge; just a little 'something' to celebrate his presence on the planet. He has this "rule": NO PRESENTS. Not for birthdays. Not for Christmas. Not for NOTHIN'. BUT...that's HIS rule, not mine. So, when he called to give me crap for having given him this little gift, he began with "you're breaking the rules. you're not supposed to give me gifts." Of course, being the sassy-ass that I am, I responded with, "those are YOUR rules, Bonehead. Don't tell ME what to do.I'll give gifts to whomever I wish. Besides, who the hell are you to deny me my joys?"

I gotta say, that one got him. For a few seconds he had no response. Then, as usual, he began to launch into his pathetic guilt trip (the one he was trying to get me to take). I immediately interrupted him and simply said, "you know, I realize it's a challenge for you, but perhaps you might consider just saying 'thank you' and enjoy the goodies. Wouldn't THAT be fun?"

It struck me at that moment just how sad it is for those who have no idea what gratitude is. How some people are so mired in their past and their obvious self-loathing to really know how gratitude FEELS. Perhaps they were reared with parents who never showed appreciation in any form. Perhaps they are afraid that they'll be obligated to respond in kind. Or perhaps it is merely a deep-seeded fear that stops them from going there at all. I'm not sure, and I'm really trying my best not to judge here. (not doing such a good job with that, huh?) but whatever the case may be, I do know one thing for certain:

Gratitude is a marvelous feeling. It can change your world in a second. It can lift you up from the deepest, darkest places and replace the ugliest feelings with the very best high. Better than champagne. Better than whiskey. Better than even the best sex (holycrap! really????) Yep. Really.

There is no such thing as "just another day" in my world. EVERY day is a treasure to me. Every single day that I wake up and see the sky is another opportunity for me to learn and grow and share and love. Even when there are challenges, or pains, or great losses, there is always hope for more good. Gratitude begets gratitude. The more grateful we are, the more we have to be grateful for. It's just the way the Universe works. You don't have to believe me. You can try it for yourself. The next time you hit a wall, take a moment to STOP. Think about something, ANYTHING, that you can be grateful for...even if it's 'merely' the next breath you get to breathe. You are alive. You are (probably) well-fed and clothed and living under some semblance of shelter. If that's not enough, then...I guess it would be 'just another day' to you. I pray you will find a way to give thanks every single day...and smile at this gift of "just another day".

it's pretty easy to make a difference ~~~

When November rolls around, all the stores are already overflowing with holiday 'stuff'. Regardless of one's religious or spiritual beliefs, it's impossible not to note the inundation of advertising during 'the season'. Sadly, with those urgent messages to BUY BUY BUY, also comes a great deal of stress. Whether it's because you don't have enough money or you're just too damned busy, stress levels rise and all too often, the whole 'reason for the season' is lost. It sucks.

Depending on your personal beliefs, the whole "Christmas" thing may mean very little or it may mean everything to you. While the Vatican claims it's the celebration of the day Jesus was born, historical data proves otherwise. Jesus had to have been born sometime in the Spring, based on the location of said stars and stories of those who were there. Short of getting into all that, let's just say that I don't honor the day for the birth of Jesus. I honor the SEASON for it's origin: The Winter Solstice. Does this mean that I don't honor those who do believe in Christmas? Not at all. I was reared as a catholic, so there are many in my world who hold those beliefs. I say, "to each his own". It doesn't really matter to me why or what you believe so much as how you live those beliefs. In other words, if you're walkin' your talk, then BRAVO TO YOU. And if Christmas is your thing, I got no bones about that either.

But here's the thing: through all the searching and experiencing and learning, where I finally arrived was in this beautiful place of giving. Tis the season to GIVE. (why we don't do this year round is a mystery to me, but that's a whole 'nother story). I've had the bountiful blessings to have met quite a lot of folks who're really terrific at this whole giving thang. One in particular is a lady named Jenna who came up with the idea to make gifts with her children and then put them up on her Blog for people to have a chance to win. A sort of Christmas Sweepstakes. A really awesome idea, especially given that her whole intention was to teach her kids about the spirit of giving. I say she should get the Mom of the Year Award for that!

So, when I found out about her project, I just couldn't resist getting in touch to ask if I, too, could donate a gift for this wonderful little Giving Extravaganza. It just sounds like so much fun. And what resulted was that not only did I realize I had quite a lot I could give, but the entire time I was getting it all together, I was filled with that same tickle in my belly that I once had as a child on Christmas Eve. The anticipation of giving what my hands had created was so much better than going shopping. I could see folks getting their awarded gift, all excited and grateful for having won. THIS is what the season is about. If we're going to honor the day Jesus was born or honor the Winter Solstice or whatever...how 'bout we make it more about the giving...the giving of parts of ourselves. Forget all the commercial mumbo jumbo! Make a batch of cookies or some homemade spaghetti sauce or some cool little baskets filled with whatever floats your boat. It's really so easy to give...and it doesn't have to cost an arm and a leg (or maybe that should be "a heart attack and a nervous breakdown?!).

I hope, while you go about the business of the 'holidays', you will keep your Spirit connected to your Source. This is where the joy of the season is....so let's pass it on and have some fun, yes?