Wednesday, February 24, 2010

I don't "have" that....

Been thinking a lot about how much our words affect us...on so many levels. How we often don't pay much mind to the words we use and by not being mindful we can sometimes claim ownership to things that just aren't ours at all. Here's what I mean:

For the past few years I've been on what I call "an adventure". I've been experiencing some pretty large changes in my body, most of which have included lots of intense pain and limiting my mobility. Not something I'd wish on anyone. But certainly a grand adventure nonetheless. When the adventure began I was required to visit an MD (because of insurance rules) before I could visit the practitioner of my choice (Holistic, that is). At onset, what the doctors told me felt absolutely wrong. I knew in my gut that I did not 'have' this dis-ease they named. Just knew it. From there, several other visits to several other "MDs" ensued. Each gave their various 'opinions'; none ever laid a finger on me. (something that puzzles me to this day. How in the world can a 'healer' make a diagnosis without actually touching his/her patient? Makes no sense whatsoever...but I digress...) Anyway, every time someone would ask how I was, the next question would be "what do you have?"

Now, I have to tell you that I knew immediately that using those words...."I have...." felt utterly wrong to me. I knew instinctively that I needed to choose my words very carefully. As a result, I NEVER said, "I have....". Instead I would say things like "my bones are just angry" or "I've buried some rage that now needs to be released". I gave great thought to the words I chose in order to NOT say "I have...."

And here's why: when we say "I have..." we are taking ownership of the thing. We are claiming it as our own, allowing that 'thing' to take deeper root in the body. We are, in essence, saying that this thing belongs to to our body. Why would we do that? Why would we want to own something that makes us feel so icky? Why would we even give such seeds an opportunity to root? Would it not be better to yank those weeds out before they can spread?

The more I thought about this, the more I could feel it resonate. I could feel my body agreeing with my if to say, "stay with this. this thing is not 'yours' it is merely a passing experience." I'm telling you...I could FEEL this.

Just yesterday I was chatting with a dear old friend who was telling me about his wife's own experience with cancer. It seems she, too, had the same thoughts about the ordeal. The whole while she was going through her treatments, she refused to say the words, "I have cancer." She knew in her gut that it was not HERS, but rather something that was passing through her. She stuck to this philosophy the entire time she went through the radiation and chemo treatments, refusing to take ownership of the dis-ease, refusing to allow it to become her own. He told me that she would lie in bed at night and 'scan' her body for parts that felt good. She would focus on those parts and linger there, relishing each pain-free body part and being grateful for the ease she felt in those parts. He said that it was, for her, more effective than all the pain pills she'd been given during her 'adventure'. worked.

As he told me her story I couldn't help but grin at the image of it all. I could see her lying there focusing on her toes and ankles, grinning for the ease it lent her as she focused. I could see him with a smile on his face, watching as his wife used her mind to control the pain. He told me that it was one of the most remarkable experiences they'd ever shared. I was not surprised.

Anyway, I really wanted to put this out there. For all of you who may be on your own little adventure with dis-ease (read that word again...DIS-ease...NOT "disease"...makes a difference, doesn't it?!) If you happen to be going through some discomfort and/or pain in your body, remember that it is not YOURS. It is merely a passing through; a grand adventure in realigning your body's ease with the rest of you: mind, body, spirit. THIS is what "holistic" is. The WHOLE of you is asking for your attention. It is asking you to take a step back and examine those parts that are out of balance....and to take the time to love yourself back to balance...back to full wellness, back to EASE.

that's my story...and I'm SOOOOOOOO stickin' to it.

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