One of the easiest things to do is 'look back'. The adage "hindsight is 20/20" didn't stick around for nothing. It's true. We can always see what we've done after the fact. And, if you're like most folks, that hindsight will often trigger regret.
If only I had....
But here's the thing ~ as with all other choices, choosing to see what's already been in a grateful light, as opposed to a rueful one, is paramount to your continued growth. If you're looking back and feeling as if you 'could have' something better, you're missing the whole point of the experience. Because, near as I can tell, there are no mistakes. No bad choices. No screw-ups. I mean, think about that for a second. When you make choices, do you make them KNOWING they're 'bad' or 'wrong' or 'screwed up'??? Of course you don't! You make them based on where you are at that moment and what you THINK is the best choice for you 'right now'.
Well, mostly anyway.
Beyond all that, though, there's something else that really messes with your forward movement. It's that whole thing about re-telling the story, over and over and over again, as if you have some masochistic need to keep living it. And every time you re-tell that story, that's precisely what you're doing:
Why? Why do we feel the need to do this? Why must we share that not-so-happy experience with anyone? Why not just let it be done with, see it for what it had to teach us, and move on? Is it because we have an innate desire to elicit sympathy? Or be coddled? Or have everyone share in our misery?
We cannot undo the past. We cannot 'go back'. We cannot change what has been. All we CAN do is keep moving...onward, onward...and cut loose all that icky baggage as we go. Not that there is nothing to be learned from the things we've done. But see that for what it is...and LET IT GO.
This may be a round-about way to get to my point (isn't it always?...JEEZ!) but here it is:
The words you choose have a direct affect on the life you live.
Not just sometimes.
If you keep saying stuff like, "this is really hard" or "I'm so broke I can't even pay attention" or "I just wish I hadn't...." or "I don't know what to do", then you are most certainly RIGHT. About all of it. I know from having said/done the very same thing. I lived that way for most of my life.
All those "if only I had...."s.
ICK. ICK. ICK.
Tell the story you WANT to live. Tell the story of the Life you imagine. Tell the story of your Joy. It does NOT matter if that story isn't yet 'true' or 'real'. Because, if you really, really, REALLY want to live it, it IS true. I don't give a yahooo what anybody says. It's your world and you can create it any way you WANT.
By choosing your words...the words you think as well as speak. The ones that create the images you want most to see both in your head and with your puny human eyes. By being absolutely relentless in your vision of that world. By having the tenacity of a Pit Bull and the moxie of a colt. By refusing to tell any story that's "less than". Choose those words that grow conviction, and conjure images, and make you feel that tickle in your belly that tells you....
YES I CAN...anything I want.
Your words are your wand. How you choose to use them....
is entirely up to you.